Just a Lifetime Too Early
by anonymous7
Summary: What if Lee and Amanda met much earlier? Before Lee was ready to let someone like Amanda into his life?
1. And So It Began

Just a Lifetime Too Early

Summary: What if Lee and Amanda met much earlier?  Before Lee was ready to let someone like Amanda into his life?  

  
Timeframe:  Spans from before the show and through it

  
Disclaimer: All familiar characters are the property of Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions (some characters are mine).  
  
This story, however, is mine. Please don't archive it without my permission.  
  


Author's Notes: For ease of reading, I've used asterisks for small shifts in time and lines for long shifts.  Additionally, I've included dates as a way to keep track of just how much time has passed, but for the most part these dates are somewhat random.  If we were given more information from the show as to the timing of certain events than I'm utilizing here, please accept my apologies.  I don't recall any and currently have no access to TV or VCR where I can check my tapes and very limited access to the internet where I may be able to do searches.

  
Rating: PG

Feedback: All is welcome.

**Chapter 1: And So It Began**

_August 15, 1954_

The small boy sat on the swings, hardly moving the one he sat on at all.  The playground was not a place he expected to be today, he certainly was in no mood to play.  But he was waiting for his uncle to arrive and the Watersons thought it might be best if he was out while they met with his uncle.

Sitting on the swing, wishing he were back in his room playing with the toy gun his father had brought home just two days ago, the boy hardly stirred when a young girl took the swing next to him.  He wasn't even really aware that she was there, and so was startled when she asked him what was wrong.  "Nothing," he mumbled, not looking up.  He wasn't in the mood to talk.  And he couldn't explain what was wrong as he didn't understand it very well himself.  He hadn't seen his mom or dad in nearly a day and a half and he missed them.  He couldn't understand why they didn't tell him that they were going on a trip and why whenever he asked Mrs. Waterson when they were coming home she would pat him on the head, looking at him sadly, but never offer an answer.

And his uncle - he had never even met his uncle before, so why was he going to stay with him until his parents returned?  None of it made any sense and it was so confusing that when the little girl persisted, insisting that something must be wrong, he burst into tears.

He was surprised a moment later, when he got a hold of himself, to find that she was now crouching in front of him, her small hand on his leg.  "Can I help?" she asked in a small voice and Lee shook his head wordlessly.  The girl was young – at least a couple of years younger than himself, so he was surprised she could talk so well.  And she had the kindest eyes.  Looking into their brown depths, Lee started pouring his story out.  It was stilted due to the tears, and hardly well told, due to the age of the storyteller, but regardless, the girl's eyes shown with tears for him and her hand on his leg tightened as he told his story.

When he finished, she stood, and while he expected her to leave as quickly as she came, she did not.  She moved toward him instead and gave him a hug.  It was awkward and shy, but it must have been exactly what Lee needed, as he welcomed it, surrounding her small frame in arms that were not much larger than her own.

And it was in this state, the two children holding each other, that Dotty West found her daughter when she caught up.  Rambunctious as always, Amanda had raced ahead to the park, and while Dotty asked her to slow down, she just laughed when Amanda continued.  She had her entrance all planned and her admonishment of "Amanda West!" on her lips when she came across her daughter.  At first she smiled, her three-year old daughter already flirting with strange boys.  But as she got closer to the children, she saw the tear tracks on the boy's cheeks and suddenly understood.  Amanda had a strange knack for empathy far beyond a normal little girl, and so if the little boy were upset, it was not at all surprising that Amanda felt the need to give him a hug.

Spotting the adult a few feet away, Lee relaxed his arms nervously.  "Hi," he said shyly, to what he could only assume was the girl's mother.  Amanda then looked up too, and scuffling her feet on the ground softly whispered, "Sorry I ran ahead, Mommy."

Dotty knelt down by the children and ignoring Amanda's apology, looked at the small boy who moments ago had had her daughter in a tight embrace.  "What's your name?" she asked.

"Lee," he answered in a small voice, "Lee Stetson."

Before Dotty could reply, Amanda had, "I'm Amanda West and this is my mom."

Lee smiled at Amanda and then turned to Dotty, "Hello, Mrs. West"

"Hello to you, too, Lee." Dotty said and was about to ask if there was anything wrong when another voice rang out behind her.

"Lee?  Lee, your uncle's here."

_December 11, 1965_

Lee Stetson smiled as he returned to the base after his night out with Susie Fergusen.  Things had gone well and he was whistling happily ready to head to sleep after his late night out.

As he got into bed, he was surprised to hear the phone ring so late at night.  His uncle was out for the evening, so Lee got up to answer it.

"Hello?" he said into the receiver, and then began to try to determine who was on the other end based on the timid and forlorn "Lee?" he got in reply.  The girls who called him were generally giggly and happy, not weepy.

"Yes?" he replied, still trying to determine who the person on the other end was, when he heard a sniffle, a hiccup, and then a large breath being taken.

"It's Amanda.  Amanda West," she said as calmly as she could.

Lee could feel his whole face break out into a smile.  When he'd left he playground that day years ago, Amanda had asked for his address.  When he told her he didn't have one as he was about to move, she had insisted on giving him hers.  He hadn't known what to do with it at first.  He didn't know how to write and he doubted she knew how to read.  But when he mentioned her to his uncle's friend Barney, Barney had insisted on writing a letter to the little girl and apparently Amanda's mother helped Amanda write back.

That had been eleven years ago and while when the two children reached their teens the letters had drifted off to Christmas cards, Lee still thought of Amanda as his link to his old life – life before moving every two years, living on army bases, and tiptoeing around his uncle, trying to stay out of too much trouble.

She sniffled again, bringing Lee back to the present and said, "You gave me your number and said I could call if I wanted to talk."  Before Lee could tell her how glad he was that she had, she continued, "I needed to hear a friendly voice and so I know we haven't actually talked in more than ten years, but you were the person who came to mind."

Lee grew concerned for his old friend, and in a voice that was gravelly enough to give away his age as a boy on the verge of manhood, replied, "I'm glad you thought of me.  Is everything alright?"

"Yes," Amanda whimpered, and Lee was about to call her bluff, when she added, "Daddy is sick."

The words were simple, and nearly nonsensical.  Why would she call him just cause her father was sick?  But then, understanding came to him, and over the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, he asked, "What's wrong with him?"

"He has…" Amanda's voice trailed off in a fit of tears.  As she cried, Lee could clearly picture that day years ago when she held him while he cried for his parents and wished he could return

the favor.  "He has cancer.  The doctors said he won't last till the end of the week.  Mother is a mess." And then Amanda broke into sobs once more.

"I'll be there tomorrow," Lee said, promptly forgetting about his date with Janine Matthews the next night.  Briefly he wondered if this would be okay with his uncle, but when Amanda replied, "Really?  You'll come here?" her voice full of hope, he smiled.

"Of course."

****************************************************************************

"No way, Skip!" his uncle yelled when he asked.  "Do you know how much a last minute ticket from California to the East Coast would cost!"

Lee tried to explain the necessity, but to his uncle, Amanda was just another in a long list of girl's names that Lee uttered on a daily basis.  And as far as he was concerned, Lee did not put nearly enough effort forth in school to be given freedom to spend a small fortune just to see some silly girlfriend.

And so, Lee did not get a chance to hold Amanda while she cried over her father's grave, and it was four years more before the friends saw each other again.

To Be Continued…


	2. Follow the Yellow Brick Road

**Chapter 2: Follow the ****Yellow Brick Road**

_May 14, 1969_

Lee held the pen above the paper, the tip and the paper touching ever so slightly.  Just as he was about to apply more pressure, he moved away entirely.  "Can you explain the confidentiality agreement one more time?" he asked.  At the man's look of impatience, he added, "I'm sorry, Mr. Thorton, but my uncle's a colonel.  He's not going to be okay with me quitting school for a job I can't tell him about."

The man across from him sat back in his chair, the look of impatience replaced with one of kindness and a slight smile echoing in his eyes.  "I understand, son.  I do.  But you're not quitting school – you were kicked out," he said the words gently, and bit his tongue to keep from laughing at the look of shock that crossed Lee Stetson's face, as if he hadn't known he was kicked out of school.  "You will go back and get your Bachelor's degree – that's a requirement here.  You will then spend a year in training.  And then, and only then, will you be accepted as a full time agent for the Agency.  We trust those we recruit to make the right decisions.  Thus, you can tell your uncle whatever you feel is appropriate about this job.  It is the details of the cases you will work on as an agent that will be confidential."

Lee sighed, visibly, and leaning forward again, began, in the neat and deliberate way that young men sign their first important documents, to sign _Lee_.  Taking the pen off the paper for a moment to create a space, he paused again before continuing.  "Does that mean that I can tell non-family members as well?"

Harry Thorton's eyebrows raised, "Tell them about the Agency?  This place is a secret for a reason, Lee."

Lee looked down for a second, trying to decide how to explain this to the man in front of him.  "I know, but see there's this girl…" At Harry's raised eyebrows, Lee rushed on, "Not like that.  She's a friend from when I was a child.  My only real friend.  And well… when things got bad she's just always been there.  She's been the one person I've told everything to and it would feel strange to have this big secret from her now.  She'd never tell anyone.  She's very trustworthy."

Harry's eyes softened.  Over the course of the last several months, he had had several interviews with Lee as had several other members of the Agency, including three of the men he trusted most – William Melrose, Paul Barnes, and Austin Smyth.  Even Smyth, who took an instant dislike to the boy, admitted that he looked to be the right match despite his tragic childhood.  The fact that Lee wanted to tell a childhood friend was probably not an issue.  Lee Stetson was so guarded that it was hard to imagine him telling secrets to anyone who was not so trustworthy they would easily pass any Agency test.

"Again, we'll trust your judgment on this.  If you do not feel that telling this young woman will endanger the country in any way, we trust that decision."

Lee's face broke out into the biggest smile Harry had seen on the boy's face, and enthusiastically, he said, "No, sir.  Amanda wouldn't tell a soul!" as he added _Stetson to the name on the line. _

******************************************************************************

Lee wandered around the college campus, not really paying attention to where he was going.  It was just a campus – he'd been to several – most places he attended.  But this was not a college he attended.  In fact, it was the college attended by the only person in his life he could imagine visiting.  Ever.  He didn't have any friends he would get on a plane to see – or even drive for very far.  There were a few perhaps – a couple of guys from the mess halls at the bases his uncle had been stationed at for more than year.   But those were few, and none of those people were even close to his age.

Amanda was different, though.  She'd been there from the beginning.  Bulldozing her way in and then securing her place as his best friend.  Even with the minimal contact they'd had during childhood, he'd always considered her that.  It was the freedom that came with never seeing her, he supposed.  He could tell her anything – if she laughed at him, he'd never know it.

And since that phone call five years ago, they'd only gotten closer.  He'd actually been in tears when he called her to tell her he couldn't come, that he needed to break his promise.  But she hadn't been angry.  She'd cried, but then she'd been crying when he called.  She said she understood and didn't pressure him.  And so he called again, the day of her father's funeral and stayed on the phone with her for hours.  She didn't say much, but he listened to her sobs and willed his thoughts to somehow give her the hug he could not.

After that, phone calls became more frequent.  Amanda never said much, but then she never had.  Even her letters had been mostly questions about Lee.  But she listened.  Better than anyone in his life did, and so he talked.  He talked more than he ever imagined he could talk, and the result was liberating.  It became a comfort to know that somewhere out there, someone knew him as well as anyone else could, supported him no matter what, and loved him for who he was.  So when things were going poorly, Lee held onto that.  Even when he couldn't call Amanda for some reason or other, he knew she would have understood if they had been able to talk.

Now he'd made this huge decision and he hadn't mentioned the possibility of it in any of their recent conversations.  Would she object, would she be okay with it?  But despite the dozens of questions floating about his head, he knew she would.

Somehow, though, he was worried about telling her.  And that was why he was here now, anyway.  Because this news seemed too big to not tell her in person.

He was startled when he bumped into someone, and looking up to apologize, came face to face with a beautiful young girl.  Her brown hair hung to her shoulders in curls and her brown eyes sparkled with a joy in life that Lee rarely experienced.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled and she replied in kind as she made a move to walk around him.  But Lee reflexively grabbed her arm, then loosened his grip at her surprise. "I'm here visiting a friend," he started, "but I haven't met up with her yet.  Would you like to have dinner with me?"

The girl looked to be in mild shock and Lee wondered if this was a mistake, but this was how he always asked out girls.  And thanks to his boyish good looks and lots of charm, he was rarely turned down.

"I'm sorry," the girl finally replied in a soft lilting voice that was vaguely familiar to Lee.  "I can't.  I have a boyfriend." And then pulling her arm out of Lee's grasp, she turned away and left Lee standing alone.

Lee watched her retreating figure, somewhat surprised.  While certainly he'd been turned down before, mostly by girls who really did have boyfriends, there was something different about this girl.  Usually they were shy and awkward around him and hesitated first, seeming to decide whether their boyfriend was worth missing out on this opportunity.  But none of that had happened with this girl.  She seemed utterly unaffected by Lee's presence, his hand on her arm, or his offer of dinner.  And that intrigued him, but unsure what to do about it, he let it go.

******************************************************************************

"The most amazing looking guy was here for you earlier, Amanda," Lily, Amanda's roommate, said as she entered their room.

Amanda looked at Lily questioningly before Lily went on.  "It wasn't Joe, but I don't know who it was.  He didn't leave a name, just asked for you and when I said you were in class, said he'd be back."

Amanda shrugged her shoulders in response, "I wasn't expecting anyone.  I guess I'll just have to wait for him to come back."  Then dismissing the thought from her mind, she sat down on her bed, looking at Lily excitedly, "Guess what?"

"What?" Lily asked, laughing already , before she even knew what Amanda was about to say.

"After Lit class today, Dan asked me what your favorite color is.  I'm sure he's going out today to pick out your corsage."

"Corsage?" Lily asked in surprise.

"Corsage.  For the party.  He's so old-fashioned.  It's so cute."

"I guess," Lily said, not sure she wanted to go to the aforementioned party with someone _that old-fashioned._

"I think the four of us are going to go together," Amanda continued, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"We should go out dress shopping after class tomorrow." Lily said, and then continuing, "What color do you think we should wear?  I'm thinking you should wear a light blue and I'll wear pink.  Or maybe purple.  And you should definitely get an off-the-shoulder dress, as Joe loves you in those."

Amanda blushed at the comment and asked, "Do you think the party is really that fancy?"  but before Lily was able to answer, there was a knock at the door.

Lily got up to answer it and after opening the door, without even saying hello, she turned to Amanda.  "It's for you," the look in her eyes clearly telling Amanda that this was the previously mentioned 'amazing looking' guy.

He entered the room, but was too surprised at seeing Amanda to say anything.  Looking up at him, Amanda's eyes held a small amount of fear, "How did you find me here?  I told you I had a boyfriend!"

Finally finding his voice, Lee replied, "Amanda?"

Amanda didn't reply, just stood next to her bed, ready to throw him out.

"I can't believe it was you earlier," Lee went on.  "Amanda, it's me.  Lee.  Lee Stetson."  He would have braced himself better for her reply if he'd seen it coming, but he didn't, and suddenly, he found himself with Amanda pressed up against him, her arms around him tightly, her laughter in his ear.

"I can't believe I turned Lee Stetson down for dinner," Amanda exclaimed, removing herself from his arms and taking a small step back.  "I thought no one told Lee Stetson no."

Lee laughed with her, and reached to hug her once more, wrapping his arms tightly around her, lifting her off the ground, and smelling her hair, taking in the sights and sounds that surrounded him, things that fit in Amanda's world although they were foreign to his own.

"Well, I guess I'll accept that you are the exception," he laughed back at her, finally placing her on her feet.

Suddenly noticing Lily watching them from across the room, Amanda turned toward her.  "Lily, this is my best friend, Lee Stetson.  And Lee, this is my roommate, Lily Peterson." 

Lily shook hands with Lee, and then quickly took her leave so the two friends could be alone.

Sitting side by side on her bed, Lee could not stop staring at Amanda.  She was beautiful.  He'd never really thought much about what she'd look like now – seventeen years later.  He barely remembered what she had looked like that day so long ago.  But she was perfect – just the way he would have pictured her had he bothered to do so.

Feeling uncomfortable with the scrutiny, Amanda said the first thing to come to mind, "So, I can see why you rarely get turned down."

Lee looked at her quizzically, then catching her meaning, laughed.  Playing her words back in her head, Amanda realized what she had said and blushed.  Reaching over for her hand, Lee said, "And I can see why you have a boyfriend.  You do, don't you? You said so earlier."

Suddenly on more comfortable ground, Amanda smiled, "Yeah.  His name is Joe.  He's pre-law."

The two friends talked and caught up.  Lee told Amanda all about his offer from the Agency and Amanda told him all about college and Joe, whom was a fairly recent addition to her life, and before long the awkwardness that the meeting began with was all but forgotten.  The recognition of mutual attraction had also faded, too.  It was still there, but buried so deep beneath years of warmth and companionship as to be unrecognizable to either party.  Which was just as well since Lee was off to Maryland for college – close enough to visit, but not too often.

To Be Continued…


	3. Love Is a Many Splendored Thing

Note: I have updated all the previous chapters, but all I really changed was the dates and references to them.  Mostly this was because if I continued along the way I was going, Philip and Jamie would have been much too young during the show.  I seem to recall that Philip was born in 1973, so clearly Amanda wasn't in college in 1975.

**Chapter 3: Love is a Many Splendored Thing**

_February 22, 1972_

"Don't think you're getting away with that!" Lee laughed at the brunette on the other side of his bed, holding his boxers at him tauntingly.

"Then come get them," she said, huskily.

Lunging over the bed, Lee missed her by an inch as she moved back.  He went to attack her from a new angle when his eyes caught the clock.  Suddenly he went in a completely different direction, grabbing a clean pair of boxers and a t-shirt from his bureau.

"Sorry, hon, but it's getting late.  I need to call the states now if I don't want to wake her up."

The look that was returned was not in the least bit friendly.  "Can't you call Mandy tomorrow?" Eva pouted.

Lee shot her a look.  "I told you, she hates being called Mandy.  And I promised her I'd call today.  She worries about me, there's so little I can tell her about where I am.  I won't be on long, I promise."

Had Lee taken the time to look back, he would have seen that his girlfriend did not understand.  She was muttering obscenities under her breath and shooting hated glances at him.  But Lee was focused on the task at hand, dialing in the multiple numbers needed to place an international call.

And much to Eva's chagrin, once the line was picked up on the other side, she was completely forgotten.

"Amanda!  Hi, it's Lee.  How are you?" she heard him say in excited tones.  She couldn't understand what the deal was with this Mandy person, but she didn't like it.

"Really!  Congratulations! Wow!…When?… I'm not sure I'll be done here yet, and I don't know that I can leave.… No, don't hold off on my account.… Well, I won't be finished, but I should definitely be able to come back to the states for a few days then.  Are you sure you want to hold off just so I can be there?  I'll understand if … Okay, okay," he laughed into the phone.  "Yeah, I'd feel the same way if it were me.… Well, actually I am seeing someone.  Her name is Eva.…Um, okay.  I'll ask her, but I'm not sure she'll want to.… I understand.…Okay, I'll check in with you again in a couple of weeks.…  Well, if you need anything – anything at all, you know you can always leave a message with Mr. Melrose, right?… Okay, Amanda.  Good night."

Lee returned to the room to find Eva staring straight ahead, but ignoring her clearly foul mood announced, "Amanda and Joe are getting married!"

Eva looked up, surprised.  She couldn't help but think that there was something between Lee and Amanda considering how often he talked about her.  But if there was, why was he so excited that she was marrying someone else?  And why _was she marrying someone else?  Not that she cared._

"Really?" she tried to sound interested.

"Yeah, in a couple of months.  She said she wanted to make sure I could be there, so she's waiting a little longer than they had planned.  She says you can come with me if you'd like," he smiled.

Plastering a smile on her face, Eva played demure, "Do you want me to?"

Lee laughed at her, jumping up on the bed and falling over onto her, "Of course I do," he laughed just before he kissed her.

_April 15, 1972_

The bridal march began, and the attendants of the church all stood expectantly, their eyes trained on the back entrance.  Dotty stood by her daughter's side, smiling at her, waiting for her to take her first step.  Leaning down she whispered, "Thank you for asking me to do this."

"It's not a favor, Mother.  I want you to," Amanda whispered back, willing herself not to finish the thought.

However, Dotty could read her daughter better than anyone, and whispered in a hoarse voice, "He would be so proud of you, sweetheart.  I can almost hear him saying, 'Take care of my Panda' to Joe."

Amanda smiled in spite of the sudden ache in her chest, and took the first step toward the new man in her life.

As one would expect, Joseph D. King gasped at the sight of his bride as she walked toward him.  In the white gown, with her hair down and her face softly hidden by the veil, she was breathtaking.  If anyone had been listening, they may have noticed one of the groomsmen gasp as well.  Amanda looked like an angel, and to this particular groomsman, she was.  She had saved him so many times since that day on the playground and he could not help but be surprised at the sight she made coming down the aisle.

As she made her way towards, Joe, Amanda glanced around and catching Lee's eye, she smiled just a tad bit wider.  She wasn't sure he was going to be able to make it after all, and he'd cut it so close she hadn't had a chance to see him yet, or introduce him to Joe.

But soon she was at the head of the church, Joe was kissing her mother on the cheek, and Amanda's attention was turned away from Lee Stetson and towards her groom.

******************************************************************************

In the reception hall, Lee looked around at all the smiling faces.  Eva was clearly in no mood to be here, and he wasn't quite sure why she'd come now.  Looking for a friendly face, any face, he noticed Amanda's college roommate and headed over to say hello, Eva following slightly behind.

"Hi, Lily," he smiled and Lily looked up and then broke into a huge grin.

"Why, it's Amanda's jet-setting friend," she teased.  "Joe's never before met groomsman."

Lee laughed.  "Well, I tried to get here earlier, but just couldn't do it.  I didn't need to be an usher."

Lily laughed.  "Oh yes, you did.  Amanda may have called off the wedding had Joe not agreed.  How are you, Lee?"

"I'm good.…" he was just about to introduce Eva and Lily, when Amanda came bustling up to them, trails of white silk in her wake.

"Lee!" she flung herself in his arms, and Lee wrapped his arms around her.

"It's good to see you, too," he teased, bestowing a kiss on her cheek.  "You look amazing.  Exactly the way a bride should look."

Amanda blushed, "Thanks.  Come, I want you to meet Joe," and she promptly dragged Lee away leaving Eva and Lily together.

Eva stared coolly around her and in an effort to ease the discomfort, Lily asked, "So, you're Lee's girlfriend."

"Yes.  My name is Eva," she placed her hand out, but the gesture held no warmth and Lily shook it out of habit more than anything else.

"I'm Amanda's college roommate, Lily.  I met Lee in college."

******************************************************************************

"Joe," Amanda walked up to her groom, "This is Lee.  Lee Stetson, this is Joe King."  She smiled at both men and it was clear that she fully expected them to embrace and admit undying love for one another.

Of course, just because Amanda loved both men, doesn't mean that they immediately loved each other, and so the introduction was just a tad bit keyed down from Amanda's expectation.  The men shook hands, Lee offered his congratulations, and Joe thanked Lee for his duties as an usher, graciously pretending that it was something that he had wanted.

The three were talking when Dotty rushed up to them.  "Amanda?  Amanda, you absolutely must say hello to Aunt Lillian."  Looking around, she smiled, "You must be Lee," she said.  "I haven't seen you since you were just a little boy.  How are you, dear?"

"Very well, Mrs. West.  You look lovely.  I heard several people ask which of you was the bride when you were coming down the aisle." Lee turned his charm on in spades, and as anyone who knew Dotty West would expect, she ate it up.

"Oh, Lee," she laughed as she swatted his arm affectionately.  "You have turned into a fine young man.  You have a girlfriend, don't you?"

When Lee faltered in his response for just a moment as he looked around for Eva, Dotty continued, "You absolutely must.  I would not believe for an instant that you are single!"

"No, Mrs. West, I do.  She's over there, talking to Lily."  Amanda, Joe, and Dotty turned in the direction he was pointing.

"She's lovely," Dotty said.

"Yes, she is," Amanda echoed.  "Lee, I'd love to meet her."

But before Lee could respond, Dotty interjected.  "It will have to be later, Amanda.  You really need to say hello to Lillian."  And before another word could be said, Dotty dragged Amanda off leaving Joe and Lee alone.

"So, Amanda tells me that you have a job with a film company," Joe smiled.

"Yes, I'm an editor.  It's government run, so sometimes we do pretty weird films, but it lets me travel all over the world, so it's worth it." Lee told the IFF cover story with ease.

"I'd love to travel, but I'm not sure that Amanda and I will get to do so now.   We're torn between traveling and having a family.  I'd love to live overseas for a few years.  Work for an organization in a third-world country that helps make life better for the people."

Lee smiled, "That's admirable.   But I guess that's why most people don't do it.  It's too hard to fit something like that into the rest of your life." 

******************************************************************************

Amanda slid an arm around Lee's waist.  "Are you having a good time?" she asked, looking up at him expectantly.

He smiled down at her, "Yes, I am.  Joe seems like a wonderful guy, and I think he realizes how lucky he is to have you."

Amanda laughed at him shyly, and then turning to the woman standing beside him, offered her hand, saying, "You must be Eva.  Lee has told me so much about you."

Eva looked disdained at the arm Amanda had around Lee's waist and replied, "Yes, he's mentioned you once or twice as well.  Congratulations, Mandy."

Amanda, seeing the look in the other woman's eye, withdrew her arm from Lee, and gently corrected, "It's Amanda.  Thank you."

"Really, I swear Lee calls you, Mandy."

Before she could continue, Lee interrupted. "Actually, I call her Amanda and I mention her all the time."  Lee laughed, trying to dispel the unease between them.

"What is it that you do again, Eva?" Amanda tried to warm up to Lee's girlfriend again.  "I can't seem to recall."

"Oh nothing important to someone like you, Mandy.  I'm sure you will perfectly happy living the life of a housewife with 2.5 kids, the white picket fence, and your days spent in a housecoat.  But to me, that seems so… well, … pedestrian."

Amanda took a deep breath, but before she had even gotten her emotions under enough control to make some semblance of a polite response, Lee slipped his arm through hers and shooting a look at Eva, smiled down at Amanda.  "Can I have one dance with the bride?"

Eva's rudeness all but forgotten, Amanda smiled up at him, her brown eyes shining once again.  "Of course!  I couldn't not dance with you on my wedding day!" and the two were off, Eva staring after them.

They smiled as they moved onto the dance floor, and Lee was amazed at how light Amanda felt in his arms.  She seemed to move with him effortlessly and he'd been given extensive dance lessons from the agency for embassy parties.  However, even he had never felt like he'd danced this well before, but Amanda seemed to fit in his arms better than any of his other dance partners, even Eva.

'Oh, well,' he thought.  'Dancing is hardly a prerequisite for dating.'  But then quickly turned his thoughts away from Eva and towards the woman in his arms.

_August 5, 1972_

The phone rang, spoiling the quiet morning in the Arlington home.  Amanda leapt for it, hoping to get it before it woke up Joe.  She was up and enjoying her morning coffee, but Joe had had a late night working on a case for the DA's office and she didn't want to wake him.

"Hello," she said in soft tones so that her voice wouldn't carry upstairs.

"I was going to propose to her," came back the forlorn voice.

"Lee?" Amanda questioned.  "Where are you?  What are you talking about?"

"Eva.  I was going to propose to Eva."

"Oh, Lee, that's wonderful!  When are you going to propose?  Have you done it already?  What did she say?"  Amanda got so excited at the news that she hardly gave Lee a chance to respond, but it needn't have mattered as he didn't say anything when she finished anyway.  "Lee?  Is everything alright?"

"She's gone," he whispered and Amanda struggled to make out the sound over the static of the overseas call.

Finally understanding what he said, she replied quietly, "I'm sorry, Lee."  She considered offering him platitudes, telling him Eva didn't know what she was missing, it was her lose, there were other fish in the sea, but while Amanda thought that they were all true, she doubted Lee wanted to hear them.  Quite frankly, she was surprised that they had lasted this long.  Lee could do so much better than Eva, but while she was sure Lee knew, she had never explicitly stated her dislike of his girlfriend.

"I was going to meet her for lunch and propose to her then.  I had the ring picked out since last week.  But she came bustling in, looking happy and radiant and then announced that she was marrying someone else.  His name is Angelo." 

The two continued speaking in hushed tones, Amanda saying little, just trying to show her support, but before long, reality got the best of them and Lee got off, knowing he couldn't afford to spend much longer on the call.

However, they set up lunch when he came back to DC, which was a couple of weeks later.  Years later, Lee would say that maybe something good did come out of Eva's breaking his heart – aside from him not making a huge mistake and marrying her.  As after that lunch, they began to get together more often and made a point of trying to have lunch once every couple of weeks whenever Lee was in town.  Once again, Lee's heartbreak had led him directly to Amanda and the friendship was strengthened even more because of it.

To Be Continued…


	4. If I Only Had a Brain

Note: I do not own the rights to the song, "If I Only Had a Brain".  I borrow them here simply as I like them.

**Chapter 4: If I Only Had a Brain**

_September 10, 1972_

Lee clutched the hand of his lunch companion tightly.  He wasn't sure why he was so nervous and he felt himself slipping, wanting to say something to her.  Let her know about this.  But he couldn't breach the Agency trust.  He had signed those confidentiality agreements years ago.  As much as he knew that Amanda would never tell anyone, he couldn't tell her.

She smiled at him slightly and with her free hand, ran a finger across his cheek, finally bringing her lips to the same place, giving him the softest of kisses before moving back.

Lee smiled at her and let go of her hand to brush a stray lock of hair behind her ear.  "Thanks," he whispered.

"Is everything alright, Lee?" she asked in a soft voice and he smiled at her concern.

"I'm just nervous."  She cut him off before he could continue.  

"Nervous?  About what?"

"This new assignment.  You know I can't tell you much, but I've been chosen for this team.  It's called the Oz Network."  She smiled at him and he could almost hear a quip about Toto coming up, so he cut her off.  "It's a group of young members of the Agency and being chosen is something of an honor.  But, only something of one, as the work is dangerous."

She grabbed his hand again, concern in her eyes.  "How many of you are there?"

"Four.  I've only met the person in charge of the team, the one who chose us.  I had interviewed with him when I first joined the Agency.  His codename for this is the Wizard.  Which from what I hear is very appropriate.  His success rate is so high, rumor has it that he must use magic."

Lee's voice was serious and strained during this and in an effort to lighten the mood, Amanda asked with a laugh, "Can I ask what your codename is?"

Lee thought for a minute, but then decided he couldn't see the harm in telling her, and so said, "Scarecrow.  Of course, I've never seen the Wizard of Oz.  I don't know what that means."

Amanda laughed before he finished and he just looked at her, waiting for her to explain the joke.  What she did instead, took him completely by surprise.  She broke into song.

"I could while away the hours, Conferrin' with the flowers, Consultin' with the rain.  And my head, I'd be a-scratchin'  While my thoughts were busy hatchin'  If I only had a brain," she finished with a flourish.

"What is that?" Lee asked, laughing at her now, his earlier seriousness forgotten.

"The Scarecrow," Amanda said smugly and at Lee's quizzical look she continued, "Can you come over for dinner tonight?"

Lee shook his head at the non-sequitor.  Only Amanda, he told himself.

"Sure, but I still want to know what the singing was about," he laughed.

"Be there at six.  I promise you'll understand better later tonight."  
  


******************************************************************************

 "Lee!" Joe exclaimed as he opened the door, and the two men shook hands.  Joe was always very open to Lee's presence.  Amanda had told Joe to think of Lee like her brother, and it was an analogy that worked well.  It enabled Joe to see how close the two were, but he was never jealous.  Amanda and Lee's relationship had never been more than platonic and they did act like siblings more than anything else.

Amanda came running in, grinning from ear to ear, and giving Lee a warm hug.  Lee couldn't help but notice how small she looked with only Joe and himself in the room with her, how she could have passed for a teenage girl, and it made him smile.  Even with Joe around, Lee couldn't help but feel like it was his job to protect her.  Somehow he felt like Amanda was his responsibility.  Too many times when they'd met for lunch he'd notice some man staring at Amanda and it made him uncomfortable.  It wasn't that he didn't notice that Amanda was beautiful, but there was so much more to her than that.  And so he found himself glaring at them, forcing them to look away.

He had always thought she didn't even notice the looks she garnered from men when she went out, but now he found himself wondering.  She seemed so open and free here, it's what made him think she could pass for a teenager.  Maybe she was a bit guarded when she left the house.

As the three made small talk in the entryway, Amanda leaned her head against Joe's chest, while he wrapped his arms around her.  Lee felt a bit jealous of their clear happiness and love.  He wanted that, too, but considering his job, it was a tough thing to find.  Few women were willing to put up with half-answers about his job and his taking off for weeks at a time with no word.

They made their way to the kitchen and gathered around the table.  "You outdid yourself, Amanda," Joe said, smiling warmly at his wife, while he ate his dinner.

"This is really great, Amanda," Lee added, and in response Amanda blushed.

Seeing this, Joe decided to tease her a bit more.  "I'm awfully lucky to have gotten such a great cook for a wife, don't you think, Lee?"

Picking up on the joke, Lee responded, "I guess it makes up for all the talking you need to put up with."

Amanda looked up at him, her eyes wide in shock and immediately responded, "Why, Lee Stetson!" but stopped when Lee and Joe both burst out laughing at her.  She joined their laughter, finishing her planned admonishment with an "Oh you guys!"

******************************************************************************

"Now don't keep her out too late, Lee, you hear?" Joe said, deepening his voice.

"No, sir," Lee saluted him, and then dropping the charade, the two men shook hands again.  "Thanks for dinner, Joe."

"Not a problem.  We love having you here, you know that.  Come by whenever.  Have fun tonight.  Amanda has something special planned for you," Joe grinned, his voice underlined with laughter.

"Are you sure you can't come?" Amanda asked, her eyes hopeful.  Joe bent down and gave her a kiss on the nose.

"I really need to work.  But go, have fun."

Lee and Amanda took off for the movie theater, Amanda giving directions to Lee as he drove.  "Where is this place?" Lee wondered out loud.

"It was hard to find a theater playing this movie.  Trust me, it will be worth it."

Lee groaned out loud when they pulled up to the movie theater of Amanda's choice and saw what was playing, "The Wizard of Oz? Oh, Amanda, come on."

But she was already out of the car and when he joined her hoping to convince her to go someplace else, she grabbed his hand, "Come on.  This will be fun.  You have to see the movie about your namesake," she teased and Lee found he couldn't say no to the woman standing beside him, her eyes sparkling with laughter.

Not too long later, though, he was sorry he had agreed to this.  There was his namesake alright.  Barely able to walk and looking both drunk and dumb.  Then the music started and Amanda, whose hand was in his, leaned over.  Her voice as sweet as this afternoon, but much softer, she began singing again, "If I only had a brain. I could while away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers…"

Suddenly, Lee's breath caught in his throat.  Her breath on his ear, her hand in his, her other hand on his shoulder.  He couldn't think straight.  Deep breaths.  Deep breaths, he told himself.

Amanda pulled back, still laughing slightly, clearly missing his discomfort.  And after another deep breath, Lee turned toward her horrified.  "The Scarecrow needs a brain!" he said, suddenly understanding the point.

She smiled at him, poking him in the ribs, but he continued to watch her horrified.  His codename meant that he was brainless?!  He was hurt and shocked, and then suddenly he felt himself laughing.  It was appropriate, and he knew it.  He behaved rashly, acting first, thinking later.  Paul Barnes knew what he was doing.

No other words were spoken while they watched the rest of the movie, although Amanda did lean over at one point and whisper, "Can I assume there is no Lion in the Oz Network?"  Lee laughed at her, squeezing her hand.

It wasn't until a couple of hours later, after the movie and coffee and watching Amanda walk back into her home, that Lee recalled that moment in the theater when Amanda had been singing in his ear.  When he couldn't think past the smell of her perfume in his nose, her voice in his ear, and her hands warm and small where they touched him.  It was just as well, he thought, that he had forgotten about the incident until now.  He was hardly about to tell Amanda that one more minute of her singing softly in his ear and he would have kissed her.

_January 14, 1973_

The phone rang in Lee's ear, but he refused to pick it up.  It had been ringing incessantly all morning, but he didn't want to talk to anyone.  He heard his doorbell, through the ringing of the phone, but he was unwilling to answer either.

"Lee?" the voice came through his answering machine.  "This is Paul.  I know you're there, son.  Please pick up."  Vaguely, Lee heard the opening of his door, but didn't comprehend that someone had entered his home or what that would mean.

"Lee, I know how close you were to Dorothy," Paul continued to talk to the machine.  "And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.  But you need to get past this.  Dorothy knew the risks…" Paul's voice stopped abruptly as Lee picked up the machine and hurled it across the room.

It came within inches of the figure standing in the doorway, eyes wide with surprise, hurt, and concern.

Too numb with pain to experience surprise at seeing Amanda standing there, he jumped over to her.  "Are you okay?" he asked and she nodded her head.

"It missed me," she said simply.

He smiled slightly, dropping his hands from her shoulders and sat on his bed again.

"Go home, Amanda," his words were warm despite their message, and choosing to ignore them, Amanda sat down beside him, placing a hand on his knee.

"I heard the message," she said in a quiet voice.  "I'm so sorry, Lee.  I know how much you loved her.  I'm sorry." Amanda thought back on recent phone conversations, all of which centered on Dorothy.  Lee had fallen in love with her so quickly, but he was completely smitten, and Amanda had thought it was cute.

But now it clearly wasn't cute.  And Amanda was faced with all of these emotions she couldn't deal with.  Lee was responding so poorly to this, completely cutting himself off from everyone.  Seeming to be unable to deal with this with the blow from Eva less than a year and a half behind him.  He was even unwilling to talk to her.  And on top of that was the simple fact that someone Lee had cared about had died.  Had been killed.  And Lee had been there.  That could have been him.  She could have lost him.

She felt the tears in her eyes, but bit her lip to keep from crying.  Lee needed her to be strong now, needed to let him talk to her about Dorothy, not cry over his own mortality.

It didn't matter.  Lee wouldn't talk to her.  He pushed her out the door and wouldn't answer her phone calls.  A week later, when frantic, she decided to visit again, the key Lee had given her in hand, she found that he had changed the locks.

To Be Continued…


	5. We're Having a Baby!

Note:  You may want to go checkout Chapter 4.  The whole thing wasn't up the first few days, so you may want to make sure you read the whole thing.

Thanks so much for the reviews.  They've been really great and I look forward to them.  I hope you keep enjoying this story.  I'm sorry the updates are so slow, but it takes me awhile to get chapters I'm happy with.  Plus, as always "real life" keeps me tremendously busy.  I'm really having fun writing it, though.

My apologies, but this chapter is not my best work.  I really view these chapters as background (the real story is still a few chapters away yet) and so sometimes they just need to be told.   Additionally, I apologies to those of you who like a strong Amanda.  She will be strong later (that's how I generally like her, too), but I imagine that when she was young and first married she wasn't as spunky as she was on the series.

**Chapter 5: We're Having a Baby**

_February 2, 1973_

Amanda lit the last candle, standing back to survey her work.  The table looked perfect.    Flowers, candles, simmering soup waiting to be poured into bowls.  She walked over to the stereo, looking through the albums, finally deciding on Bach before placing a record on the turntable.  She had just made her way back to the kitchen to check on the rest of dinner when the backdoor opened.

"Hi, sweetheart,"  Joe greeted Amanda.  "Mmmm…. Dinner smells wonderful.  I'm starved.  Unfortunately, I need to work tonight, so I don't really have time for dinner." He told her as he placed his arms around her waist.

Amanda's face fell.  "I made a nice dinner, Joe.  Please eat with me."  Looking at her sad face, Joe started to explain that he just couldn't, but then caught a glimpse into the dining room and changed his mind.  It looked like she had spent a lot of time on dinner.

"Of course, Amanda.  It will have to be somewhat fast, though, okay?" he asked, apologizing with the look in his eye.

She smiled at him, "Of course.  Go on into the dining room.  I'll be right there."

He took a seat, taking in the table in front of him.  Amanda walked in and started doling out the soup.  The two made easy conversation during dinner, Joe letting Amanda in on his day, talking over his newest case with her and getting her opinion.

As Amanda dished out dessert, she poured grape juice into the wine glasses.  "Grape juice, Amanda?" Joe teased, "I said I had to work, but I can have a glass of wine."

Amanda took a seat on Joe's lap and whispered in his ear, "But I can't."

Joe looked at her quizzically.  "You can't what?  Have a glass of wine?"

Amanda smiled at him, but he continued to look at her quizzically.

Her voice soft and husky she told him, "We're having a baby."

"**What!**" he cried in response.  "How did this happen?  You can't be pregnant!  Oh my gosh!"

Amanda moved off Joe's lap, and moved to her seat, her eyes filling in with tears.  "You're not happy?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

Joe took in the face of his wife and sighed.  Then reaching over he placed a soft kiss on her lips.  "I'm just surprised, that's all," he said.  "A baby?  Some small combination of you and me?"

Amanda smiled shyly, still unsure of whether Joe was happy or sad.  Ignoring his desire to be honest and tell Amanda that he was anything but happy, Joe decided to smile for his wife.  Besides, maybe it would be a little girl – a little girl who looked just like her mother.  That wouldn't be so bad.

"Dance with me," he said offering his hand.  Amanda took it, still unsure, and stepped into Joe's arms.  "I can't think of better news," he told her as they danced, and slowly Amanda began to smile again.

******************************************************************************

The following morning, the breakfast dishes away and Joe off to work, Amanda stared at the telephone willing herself to pick it up.  She hadn't talked to Lee since Dorothy's death.  He hadn't answered her phone calls, or her knocks at his door and so she had decided to stop.  He would call her when he was ready.  But now it had been nearly two weeks and she was worried about him.  Plus, she had this news to tell him.  Lee was her best friend – she couldn't imagine waiting for him to find out she was pregnant.

Taking a deep breath, she picked up the phone.  Not surprisingly there was no answer.  Deciding to bite the bullet, she left him a hasty message.  "Hi, Lee.  It's me.… Amanda.  I'm coming over tonight at 7.  If you have plans, break them.  I really want to see you and I have some news that I have to share with you.  See you tonight."

******************************************************************************

Glancing around the street, Amanda noticed that Lee's car was not parked nearby.  She sighed deeply.  She was waiting for him to get home and he was going to see her whether he liked it or not.  She grabbed the stack of papers she brought with her and going up to Lee's apartment, set herself down on the floor, prepared to wait it out.

And wait she did.  It was nearly 9 by the time Lee showed up and frankly, Amanda barely recognized him when he did.  His hair looked like it hadn't been combed since she'd seen him last, there were dark circles under his eyes, and he smelled strongly of cigarette smoke.

At seeing Amanda on the floor beside his door, he grunted.

"Well, hello to you, too," Amanda teased, trying to keep the mood light.

"I didn't think you'd wait this long," Lee explained while he opened the door.

"Clearly," Amanda replied.  "I brought some of Joe's legal briefs with me.  I promised I'd proofread them for him.  I was all prepared to sitting here all night." Amanda entered the apartment and then bit her lip to keep from responding to the mess around her.

"Look, Amanda," Lee began, "I don't think we should see each other anymore."

"See each other?  Lee, we're not seeing each other.  I'm married, remember.  We're friends.  And we're not going to stop being friends just because another one of your friends died.  That just means you need to lean on me more."

Lee's eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere but at Amanda.  "That could be me, you know," he said, his voice soft.

Even softer, Amanda replied, "I know."

"I wouldn't want you to have to go through that."

"By cutting me out of your life now, I'd go through it now.  I'd rather have you with me as long as possible, Lee," while her eyes filled with tears, Amanda tried to keep her voice steady.

"I don't think we should…" Lee began again, but Amanda cut him off.

"I'm pregnant."

"What?"

"I'm pregnant.  That's what I came here to tell you."  At the blank look on Lee's face, Amanda added, "Please be happy for me."  When the look she received continued to be one of no emotion she teased, "It's not yours, you know."

Despite himself, Lee's lips turned up in a smile.  "That's good to hear.  I'd be a bit worried if it was."  He took a step towards her and wrapped his arms around her.  "Congratulations, Amanda.  You're going to be an amazing mother."

Amanda smiled and then stepped back.  Panic clear in her voice she asked, "I'm going to be a mother?"

Lee laughed at the question.  "Sure.  What do you think happens after the baby is born?"

"I have a baby." Amanda said in shock.  "I'm going to be a mother?

Suddenly unsure of what Amanda was feeling, Lee took her hands and led her to the couch.  But as soon as she sat down, she stood back up.  "I'm going to be a mother!" she said exuberantly.

Lee smiled.  "Yes, you are," he replied quietly.

"Oh, Lee.  I'm going to be a mother!"  Standing up, he took her into his arms once more, trying to bask in her joy.

The two friends sat and talked for hours about plans for the baby and Lee, not wanting to rain on her parade, said nothing of what he had been thinking all night:  that he should back out of her life and he should keep his distance so as not to place Amanda, Joe, or the baby into any danger.

_September 14, 1973_

Lee entered the room softly, trying not to awaken Amanda.  Despite his best attempts to keep  his distance, he had failed.  Her voice on the machine sounded so sad when he didn't answer, he was unable to bear the pain in her voice when he turned down invitations to dinner or lunch.  So, he saw her less, and tried to make the break slowly.  But today was a special day and so breaking his usual rule of not seeing her unless she asked, and turning her down at least every other time, he was here.

Taking her hand in his, he noticed how peaceful she looked while she slept.

"Joe?" she asked as she opened her eyes, and while she tried to cover her disappointment that he was not Joe, Lee saw it.

"Hi," he said softly.

"Hi, I'm so glad you came, Lee."

"But you were expecting Joe."

"Sort of.…" her voice trailed off as she turned her head to look out the window.  "I haven't seen him since yesterday after the baby was born."

Trying to allay Amanda's fears about Joe's lack of enthusiasm for the baby, which had been many during her pregnancy, Lee replied, "I'm sure he's just anxious about becoming a father.  It's a big step, Amanda.  Joe's a great guy.  He'll come around."

"I know," she smiled and then stopped when a nurse came in, a baby with a blue hat in her arms.  Amanda reached out her arms for the baby, and then holding it upright and towards Lee, she said proudly, "Lee Stetson, this is Philip Joseph King."

With his index finger, Lee reached out and shook Philip's tiny hand.  "Hello, Philip King."

To Be Continued…


	6. And Baby Makes Three

Notes:  Hope this is an improvement over the first time it was posted.  I actually didn't change too much.  I added in a scene that wasn't there before and I deleted a scene that I thought would work better later.

Notes:  From here on out the dates are not even trying to match the show.  Things are not even going to happen in the order they did on the show.  However, dates still will be important in terms of keeping track of how much time is passing.

**Chapter 6: And Baby Makes Three**

_April 5, 1974_

Lee smiled at Amanda encouragingly while she tried to feed Philip and eat her sandwich at the same time.  She had taken to motherhood as easily as he had imagined her doing, but in his never-ending effort to place more space between them this had been the first time he'd seen her since Philip was born.  He probably would not have even agreed to this lunch had she not started crying into the phone.  Apparently, despite his prediction, Joe still hadn't gotten all that excited about having a baby around and Amanda was worried about things.  Their marriage was still going well, and Joe still seemed as devoted to Amanda as ever, but he seemed to avoid Philip whenever possible and Amanda felt like he resented the baby although she was unsure why.

Catching the tiny sock that Philip had somehow knocked to the ground, Lee sat up straighter.  Leaning over to place it on Philip's little foot, he didn't see the woman approach their table until after he heard her voice.

"Hello, Lee," she said, her voice clear, and just in case Lee didn't recognize the voice, she made sure there was no question as to who she was by adding, "and hello, Mandy."

Ignoring the brunette by Lee's side, Amanda looked at Lee, trying to take her cue from him.

"Eva," Lee stated matter-of-factly.

"Hello, Eva," Amanda added.  "And it's still Amanda.  Not Mandy."  Her voice was firm and  Lee could tell that Amanda hadn't warmed to Eva in the time since the women had last seen each other.

To the surprise of both Lee and Amanda, Eva took a seat.  "Whose this?" she asked, although her voice left no doubt that she didn't care.

"This is Philip.  My son," Amanda said, her voice tight.

Smiling at Lee warmly, Eva began telling Lee about her life since he had seen her last.  She excluded Amanda from the conversation completely, but truthfully, no one noticed.  Lee was too busy warning himself not to fall in love again, certainly not with Eva, and Amanda was wishing the same thing for him.

_April 20, 1974_

Philip snuggled against her side, Amanda reached to open the door.  And then promptly gasped at the sight on her doorstep.  Lee hadn't shown up unannounced and without tremendous pressure in more than a year.  And when he did, he looked a whole lot better than this.

Wordlessly, she opened the door, and let him in.  Wiping the tears from his cheeks, Lee sat down on the couch.  "It was all a lie," he said and when Amanda said nothing, he continued.  "It was all a lie.  And I fell for it.  Twice."

Lee told his story to Amanda in hushed tones, clearly embarrassed.  Eva had managed to ensnare him once again and as a result he had nearly been killed.  The only thing that saved him was the look on Amanda's face at lunch that day a few weeks ago.  She had looked so skeptical of Eva that when Lee came across Eva's gun, he decided to play things safe and remove the bullets he had found.

Amanda, who had listened to Lee's story wordlessly, began to cry at this.  "I almost lost you," she whispered.  Clearly this was not the first time the thought had occurred to her since Lee began working with the Agency, but she had never said anything to Lee before and so her comment shocked him.  He moved to her side, and engulfed her in a hug.

The two sat on the couch crying, Amanda for the possible loss of Lee, Lee for the loss of Eva, for the next several minutes.

It was later that night that the thought came to Lee.  The last thing he was supposed to do was go to Amanda at times like this.  He was trying to create a distance between them, her comment today clearly exhibiting why.  Creating opportunities to sit in her living room holding each other for several minutes was hardly creating the space he wanted.

_June 14, 1974_

"Lee?  Lee, answer the phone!"  Amanda nearly shouted into the answering machine.  Taking a deep breath, she continued, "Look, I don't know what you hope to accomplish by completely ignoring me, but I miss you.  I'm also angry, but mostly I just miss you.  You're supposed to be my friend Lee, please don't stop now."  There was a few more minutes of silence.  "Okay, well I guess here's to hoping that the silence on your part is because you're not home.  If that is the case, please call me when you get home.  I miss you.  I miss the sound of your voice."  Another pause.  "And frankly, I could use the friendship right about now."

******************************************************************************

Lee entered the apartment, closing the door soundly behind him.  Without a word, he moved towards the kitchen and grabbed two beers from the refrigerator.  Entering the living room again, he handed one beer to his companion.  As she moved to nuzzle his neck, the blinking red light caught his eye.  Stretching the slightest bit without disturbing the woman at his neck, he pressed play.

"Lee?" Amanda's voice filled the room and Lee's evening companion backed up in surprise.  "Why haven't you called me?" the voice asked and the woman beside Lee raised her eyebrows at him.  "Lee answer the phone!" Amanda's voice clearly got louder. "Look, I don't know what you hope to accomplish by completely ignoring me, but I miss you."  Suzi's eyebrows somehow got even higher on her forehead and in an effort to recapture the moment, Lee leaned over to the answering machine, hit delete, and then in one swift movement wrapped his arms around Suzi, placing his lips over hers.

Amanda was out of both their minds in an instant.

_December 10, 1974_

"Randi, baby" Lee smiled as he opened the door.  However, at the sight in front of him, the smile was gone.  An eyebrow raised in question, Amanda stood in the doorway, Philip in one arm, a diaper bag in the other, and tear streaks adorning her cheeks.

Lee moved aside to allow her to enter.  He hadn't seen her at all since that day he had realized that Eva was a KGB agent.  He had been ignoring as many of her phone calls as possible and not agreeing to any of her lunch plans.

In the interim, Lee had made some changes in his life, changes he was not convinced Amanda would approve of.  He had come to the conclusion that as was the case with Amanda, there were few people he should really be all that close to.  And in that vein, had begun dating about four women simultaneously.  He made no promises to them, and limited the amount of time he would spend with them.  And inevitably, this had led to him not really dating anyone at all, but having casual, short relationships on a regular basis.

While this was not what he really wanted, he had come to understand that it was what made the most sense for him right now, and was beginning to enjoy the freedoms that came with this lifestyle.

He needn't have worried about Amanda's reaction.  Once she sat down, she completely forgot about his "Randi, baby" at answering the door and didn't ask about him at all.  This very fact caused Lee's concern to rise.

Settling Philip on her lap, Amanda looked up at Lee, her eyes wide. "Why did you never call me back?"

Lee stared at her, trying desperately to think of an appropriate response.  At his silence, Amanda continued, "Didn't you get my messages?  I told you over and over again that I needed a friend and you completely ignored me!"

"What?" Lee responded, incredulously.  In truth, he hadn't even really heard her messages.  After the one several months back where she yelled at him, he had stopped listening.  That message had so upset Suzi he had simply begun deleting them before Amanda had a chance to say much.  He didn't want to tell her that, though.

"My marriage is falling apart," she said matter-of-factly.

"What?" Lee repeated weakly.

 "I'm pregnant," she said softly.

"What?" Lee asked again, incredulous.  Did she just announce that she was pregnant?  Why was this something to cause crying?

"I'm pregnant," she repeated.  "I'm pregnant and Joe doesn't want the baby."

Lee sat down afraid his knees may buckle underneath him otherwise.  He placed his hand on her knee, unsure what to say.

"He thinks I did it on purpose,"  Lee sat silently, shocked at what Amanda was saying.  Amanda took his silence the wrong way and in a hurt and incredulous voice announced, "I did not!  Of course not.  Joe is hardly okay with Philip.  The last thing I wanted to do was get pregnant again."  She then burst into tears.  Feeling awkward, Lee continued to watch her.

A few moments later, Amanda looked up, "But a baby… I always wanted two children.  Why do I need to feel guilty about being pregnant?"

_October 23, 1975_

Amanda got out of the car, moving to the back to get both Philip and Jamie out of their car seats.  Holding Jamie in her arms, and Philip's hand while he walked unsteadily towards the front door, she bit her lip to keep from crying.  She wanted to call Lee, but she hadn't talked to him since the day she told him she was pregnant.  He'd been avoiding her phone calls and a few times strange women had answered his phone – always a different woman Amanda had noted.

So much had changed in the past 10 months.  Lee hadn't even met Jamie yet.  And she really needed a friend tonight.  But clearly, Lee was not intended to be that friend.  She wasn't sure why she had even gone to him when she found out she was pregnant.  He clearly wanted nothing to do with her anymore.  She tried not to complete this train of thought – the two most important men in her life over the age of three, actually the two most important adults in her life period, had decided that they didn't want to be part of her life.  What did this say about her?

She opened the door to the smell of meatloaf coming from the kitchen.  "Hello?" she called out uneasily.  She wasn't sure who was there, but doubted it was a burglar.  It was unlikely that someone had broken in to rob her, but stopped to make dinner first.

Entering the kitchen slowly she looked in warily.  "Mother?" she asked at seeing Dotty in the kitchen.

"Hi," Dotty said softly.  "Is everything okay?"

Amanda nodded.  "Let me put the boys to bed."

She came down to find a cup of hot tea and a plate with meatloaf and green beans waiting for her.

"Thank you, Mother," she whispered as she picked up her fork.  The two women sat in silence, Amanda moving the food around her plate.  Finally, she placed the plate down.  "I'm so sorry, Mother.  I'm just not hungry."

"Amanda," Dotty began hesitantly, "I've been thinking.… Raising two boys on your own is difficult," Amanda sniffled, but Dotty kept talking.  "What if I moved in here and helped out?"

Amanda nodded, and quietly said, "Oh, Mother.  I'd like that."

Dotty moved to Amanda's side of the breakfast bar and wrapped her arms around her daughter.  Amanda cried on her shoulder, trying to block out the feeling of Joe's arms around her just hours ago.  In a quiet voice, she asked, "Mother, why didn't he love me?"

Dotty's heart broke at the question.  "He did, Sweetheart.  He does.  But Joe wasn't ready to have a family.  You know he didn't mean to let you and the boys down."

Amanda nodded her head, but kept crying on her mother's shoulder.

To Be Continued…


	7. Dragon Slaying and Other Fairy Tales

Note: I updated Chapter 6 a while ago, but it never showed up as updated.  Not a ton of changes since the first version of it was up, but some of them are important.

**Chapter 7: Dragon Slaying and Other Fairy Tales**

_December 24, 1982_

Christmas music playing in the background, a cup of eggnog in his hand, Lee looked around the room uncomfortably.  With a lack of other plans for the holiday, his new, and really his first, partner, Doug, had invited him over.  Doug's parents lived in Palo Alto, California and his wife's parents lived in Ft. Worth, Texas, so they generally had small celebrations with just the two of them and their three young daughters: Kelly, the youngest at two, Samantha, at four, and Abby, who was seven.  Doug joked that between them and Madaleine, his wife, Lee would be doing him a favor by increasing the male ratio in the household.  So, Lee found himself within this family unit for Christmas Eve.

Still, family life made Lee uncomfortable.  He'd never spent much time with families.  Even with Amanda, while he'd spent time with her and Joe, once Philip was born, he barely ever saw them.  

So, standing awkwardly in the doorway, Lee surveyed the scene around him.  Madaleine really did a wonderful job of decorating, and the tree was perfect.  From there, Lee's gaze fell to the stockings hung up on the mantle and for a fleeting moment, he wished one of them was for him.  The thought made him miss Amanda as he knew that had he spent the holidays with her, that would have been the case.  But Doug didn't know much about Lee's past, didn't know that he hadn't had a Christmas stocking since he was four.  To Doug, Lee was a great partner, a nice guy to have a beer with, but someone who seemed to be enjoying the bachelor's life too much right now to settle down.

Lee was gazing blankly at the fireplace when he felt something smash into his legs and turning around, Abby smiled up at him.  "Sorry, Uncle Lee," she giggled.

Unable to respond in any way except with a smile at the little girl's impish grin, he said, "That's okay."

Abby, who was already looking nearly straight up to see Lee, tilted her head just a tad bit more and giggled again.  "We're under the mistletoe," she said in awe.

Doug came up behind him and teased, "I think that means you owe her a kiss, partner.  But try to remember – this is my little girl, not Candi!"

"Very funny," Lee muttered, as he handed Doug his eggnog and leaned over to pick Abby up.  He placed a light kiss on her cheek and she replied in kind.

When a minute later, Maddy called out that dinner was ready, and Lee went to put the child down, she whispered shyly, "Can I have a piggy back ride to the table?"

Still unable to refuse her, Lee lifted her over his head and onto his shoulders.  Somehow, although he was unsure how, this whole interchange calmed his nerves and he found himself enjoying the evening.  Maddy was a great cook, and Doug had a wonderful family.  It was hard not to feel the love in the house and feel just a little bit of it for yourself, just sitting there at the dinner table.

******************************************************************************

Lee was still coming off of his buzz – both from champagne and spending several hours with Doug's family, when he got home.  Opening the door, it stuck slightly.  He pushed a bit harder, and when it finally opened, found a manila envelope on the other side.

Picking it up, he walked to the couch.  Pressing the button on the answering machine, he sat down as he began opening the envelope.

"Hi, Lee," Candi purred.  "I hope you're having a very merry Christmas.  I wanted to give you your gift tonight."  There was a slight pause and then a very typical, but enjoyable nonetheless, version of "Santa, Baby" came over the answer machine speaker.

Lee smiled to himself as he spilled the contents of the envelop into his hands.

But as little as a thirty seconds later, he was no longer aware of Candi's voice in the background.   The envelope was completely paperwork.  And really nothing all that out of the ordinary.  The paper on top bared the insignia of the FBI.  But that wasn't what caught Lee's attention away from his answering machine.  He saw FBI paper work on a fairly regular basis.  It was the name on the top of the file.  Jennifer Stetson.  Why did the FBI have a file on his mother?

Lee pored over the papers in his hand for the next hour – long after Candi's voice had faded into Mindi's, Salli's, Heidi's, and finally silence.  There wasn't a lot there, more bits and pieces, and really more information that tended to create more questions than answers.  He still was unsure why the FBI had a file on his mother.  It seemed like she had a connection to an agent for the CIA codenamed Fox, but it was not clear who Fox may be or what her relationship with him/her was.

What was clear from the papers was that the author thought that Fox had been murdered, and it was possible that Jennifer's death was related to this murder as well.

Lee sat back, trying hard to sort out the information he had just read.  A lot of it didn't make sense to him.  Looking at the clock, he noticed it was 2am.  Yawning, he decided to sleep on it and deal with the issue in the morning.

_March 8, 1983_

Amanda sighed as she moved towards the stairs.  She had finally done it.  It had taken years for her to decide to date again.  It was ridiculous.  In the nine years since he had left, Joe had never called.  But without being divorced, she felt it was wrong to date.  Two months ago, her mother had finally convinced her that it was time.

Things had been going well, although slowly, with Dean.  Slowly as that was what she wanted.  Last night she had suddenly panicked, realizing how much had changed since Jamie was born.  Jamie and Philip had grown up so much.  She hadn't talked to her husband in years.  She hadn't talked to Lee in even longer.  Her mother lived with her.  She was dating someone else.  And it had begun to get serious.  Last night, he had asked her to take him to the train station this morning.  She had almost said no, that seemed to imply a level of closeness she didn't want to have reached.  But she realized that she had reached it whether or not she wanted to and so, she had agreed.

******************************************************************************

Lee glanced behind him.  Those two thugs were gaining on him and he didn't know what to do.  He really needed to get on the train but didn't know how he could do that without them seeing.  Damn!  He really needed to get rid of this package.

He was still trying to figure out what to do when he saw her.  Despite how unwise it was, instinctively, Lee stopped in shock.  But quickly his training took over and as she nearly passed him by, he grabbed her arm.  "Walk with me," he said quietly.

She tried to pry her arm from his, hissing, "I most certainly will not."

"Please," he pleaded and stopped to look in her eyes.

Her arm still struggling, Amanda turned to face him.  And then went slack.  "Lee?" she asked incredulously.

"Please," he repeated.  "This is a matter of life and death, Amanda.  Please get on the train.  Give this package to the man in the red hat.  You can get off at the next station and go right home."

"Lee?" Amanda repeated.

"Go!" he ordered, pushing her on the train.  Then he took off.

Amanda got on the train, but leaned out to take one last look at her old friend.  The men that were chasing him caught up to him and she had to look away after the first punch was thrown.

Moving into the train car, she scanned the scene in front of her, taking in the other passengers.  She quickly spotted the man with the red baseball cap and made her way over to him.

_April 1, 1983_

Lee sat on his couch with a sigh.  It had been a horrendous four months.  Coming into work the day after Christmas the word was out.  Over the holiday an agent had been murdered.  Everyone free had been put on the case, and the strain had only increased as more agents got killed.  Lee himself had been the last target.  If Amanda hadn't gotten that package to Doug, no one would have cracked the code and determined that somehow Francine's cooking lessons were the secret.  Lee, and probably several other agents, would be dead now.

Lee had not had a chance to stop and think at all in these four months.  First his energy being poured into tracking down the killers, then in somehow getting away before they killed him.  Reviewing the missing time from his life quickly, he stopped on the face in the train station.  The face that clearly belonged to Amanda.  And her response when he grabbed her arm.  "I most certainly will not!"  The voice had clearly been her and there was no doubt he'd been mistaken since she'd known his name.  But her response had been so strong, so …, well, so spunky.  Amanda had been so meek last time he'd talked to her.  Alright so that had been nearly a decade ago and people change.  But this was almost unbelievable.

Realizing that even after all these years, even though it was clear that she had changed, thoughts of Amanda made him all warm inside, Lee turned away from them afraid to go down that path again.

And then it came to him in this strange moment of clarity.  That morning four months ago when they had found out that Stinger was dead, he'd planned on spending the day tracking down information on that file of his mother he'd received Christmas Eve.  He had gotten sidetracked with the deaths and then as they came closer to him he had managed to forget it completely.  But now it was back.

The whole thing had him confused.  He had spent some time digging in that week between Christmas and New Year's before the case had gotten too time consuming, but what he found was confusing.  Fox was someone named Matthew, but little description was given of the man.  Little enough that Lee had trouble deciding if his first guess – that Fox was somehow his father, could be correct.

He needed to talk to someone about this.  Someone with a little distance, but who?  He considered talking to Doug, but wasn't sure how to broach the subject.  How do you start a conversation with someone who for all intents and purposes is your best friend and say, "I think I may have forgotten to mention this before, but my parents died when I was five.  I think my dad may have been an agent, but I just learned that four months ago. What do you think?"

Sighing heavily, Amanda's face appeared in his mind's eye and he briefly considered talking to her.  But then he realized that the face he saw was from nine years ago, not the face of the woman in the train station.  The woman he barely knew anymore.  He couldn't talk to Amanda after all this time.

_April 13, 1983_

Lee knocked on the door timidly, almost afraid someone would answer.  When no one did he turned around and went down the walkway.  He had almost reached the driveway when he heard a voice behind him.

"Hello?  Mister?" the voice called.  Lee turned around to see a small towheaded boy, about seven or eight calling to him.

"Hi," Lee responded quickly.  He paused for an instant, trying to determine what to say, still unsure why he was here after having firmly deciding it was a mistake the other night.  Finally settling on the most obvious, he asked, "Is your mother Amanda King?"

The boy nodded yes, and then ran inside calling up the stairs, "Mom, some man is here to see you!"

Amanda came bounding down the stairs.  "Jamie King!  What have I told you about screaming?" she asked as she reached the door.

Jamie looked at the ground suitably embarrassed.  "Sorry, mom," he mumbled.

Amanda reached out, tenderly tousling his hair.  "It's okay.  Why don't you go to the backyard and join Philip?  He's looking for someone to play football with."

Jamie broke out in a grin and dashed away.

Looking up, Amanda caught sight of her visitor and gasped.  "Lee," she said quietly.  "Hi."

"Hi, Amanda," he said as he made his way back up the walkway.  "How are you?"

Amanda laughed – a full-throated, head-thrown-back laugh.  Lee watched her not sure what her reaction meant, when she finally looked at him and said "Good.  Really good.  Different, but good."  When Lee didn't immediately respond, she went on, "So what brings you here?  I hope nothing went wrong with that package?"

"No, the package went fine.  Thanks for taking care of it for me.  I actually came by as… well, I know it's been awhile, but I needed to talk.  Can I come in?"

Wordlessly, Amanda moved aside and then closed the door behind them, moving them to the couch.

Three hours later, Lee had poured his story out and Amanda had listened quietly, asking intelligent questions, but saying little.  Before either knew it, Dotty was calling out that it was dinner time.  When Amanda admonished her for not asking for help, Dotty insisted that she didn't want to interrupt the two.

Lee was home hours later after an active dinnertime at the King household before he realized that he had never asked about Joe, where he was, and why Dotty was there.

It was only a few days later that Lee discovered the truth about his parents.  They had been killed in the line of duty, a plot by a man named Blackthorne.  As painful as it could have been to discover it, it all ended well.  Lee was glad to finally have answers to why his parents had disappeared so suddenly, and for some reason he wasn't clear on, wasn't too surprised to learn that his parents had worked for the CIA.  While initially he had harbored quite a bit of resentment toward Blackthorne, some more digging showed his to be behind bars as his plot against the Stetsons had been discovered shortly after their death.

The strange thing was that Lee had never questioned why he had received the papers so suddenly.  But through his digging he determined that the papers had been sent by the leak that had been responsible for the agency deaths, and was a ploy to divert Lee's attention away from the case.

Sitting at his desk in the bullpen, Lee was making plans in his head for going over to Amanda's and telling her what had happened as well as determining what happened to Joe when Doug came over, the grin on his face unmistakable.  They had another case.

_April 22, 1983_

Lee woke up trying to clear his head.  Last night had been a blur.  All he could recall was loud gunshots, screaming, and Maddy's tear stained cheek against his shoulder as he held her.  But that was all he needed to recall.  Just remembering how heartbroken Maddy had been, how scared Kelly, Sam, and Abby had looked at their mother's cries, he recalled all too clearly why he hadn't spoken to Amanda in so long.  It had been the right decision, and he had been a fool to contact her again.  He wouldn't make the mistake twice.

To Be Continued …


	8. Finding Your Way Back Home

**Chapter 8: Finding Your Way Back Home**

_March 11, 1985_

Amanda sat on her couch trying to clear her head.  It had been a crazy morning.  Beyond crazy.  Like a light bulb going off above her head, inspiration hit.  At least Amanda hoped it was inspiration.  This may just be the stupidest idea ever.

Going over to the drawer in the kitchen, she fished around until she found what she wanted – a letter from Lee from when he was in Europe.  The information she was looking for was thirteen years old, she could only hope that didn't mean this was a futile attempt at getting some order back in her life.

Picking up the phone, she tried to ignore the shake in her hands.  She let out a breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding when the receptionist answered with "International Federal Film.  Can I help you please?"

The quaver in her voice unmistakable, Amanda asked, "May I speak with William Melrose, please?"

"Please hold," came the nasally reply.

An advertisement came over the phone for the IFF's next film, which was apparently on the effects of gopher tunnels on building structures.  Amanda may have laughed had her mind not been several thousand miles away.

She was surprised to hear a new voice on the line, but clearly not that of Billy Melrose.  "Francine Desmond," came the voice.  "May I help you?"

"Y-yes," stuttered Amanda.  "I'm looking for William Melrose.  My name is Amanda King and I'm a friend of Lee Stetson's."

"Please hold."

 A minute later, a deep, kindly voice came over the line, "Mrs. King?  This is Billy Melrose."

"Hello, Mr. Melrose.  My name is Amanda King.  I was a friend of Lee Stetson's years ago.  I'm not sure if he still works for the Agency, but I think I need some help, and I thought …"  Amanda stopped suddenly to take a breath.

Impatiently looking at his clock, Billy noticed the time as 11:15.  Surprising himself with his next move, he said, "Mrs. King, it's nearly lunchtime and it's a slow day here today.  Would you like to meet for coffee?"

Amanda smiled slightly for the first time all day.  "Yes, please.  Where ever you want."

**************************************************************************

"I should have known," Billy thought as he saw the pretty brunette walk in the door.  While not strictly Lee's type – she was not blonde or quite as curvaceous as Lee normally liked his female companions, this woman was clearly attractive enough to have caught Lee's eye.  He waved at her and she walked over.

As she sat down, Billy took in her eyes and was a bit surprised at what he saw there.  Up close, she was not nearly Lee's type.  Beyond the dark hair and smaller curves, her eyes showed an intelligence and inner strength not normally present in Lee's women.  Today, her eyes also showed turmoil and something at Amanda pulled at Billy's heart strings and before he even knew her problem he was ready to help her.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hello, Mrs. King.  I'm Billy," he extended his hand.

Taking it uneasily, Amanda replied, "Please call me Amanda."

Billy smiled at her warmly, causing Amanda to feel slightly more comfortable.

"As I said on the phone," Amanda began, "I'm not even sure if Lee works there anymore, but I need help… I think."

"Lee does still work with us, but since you didn't call him, I didn't invite him to our lunch." Billy replied.  
  


"I haven't talked to Lee in years, honestly.  I had your name from a letter Lee had sent more than a decade ago.  I hope you don't mind…"

Billy cut her off, "Not at all.  Do you want to share your problem with me, Amanda?"

"I'm married.…" she paused again, trying to determine how to tell this story.  Even Lee didn't know most of this.  "I got married fifteen years ago.  But ten years ago, my husband moved to Eustocia.  I haven't heard from him since except for birthday gifts for our two sons the first few years after he moved.  But even those stopped about eight years ago.  We're still on good terms, or were, when we last spoke.  My husband called me this morning.  I don't know what's wrong, but he said he's back in the U.S. but can't see me or Philip and Jamie.  And if I should get any phone calls, I should deny knowing his whereabouts.   This is strange as I don't know his whereabouts except that he's here in the states.  But it was what he said after that which caused my concern."  Amanda stopped again and Billy stared at her amazed at how quickly she said all of that.  Finally, she continued, "He said my saying I don't know where he is is a matter of life and death.  My husband isn't, or wasn't, prone to exaggeration, Mr. Melrose."

Billy's eyes widened.  He'd seen the report over the wire this morning, but frankly he'd put it aside for the morning.  The assignation of the Eustocian president wouldn't even have been Agency business if there hadn't been an American implicated in the murder.  An American who Billy was beginning to suspect might be Mrs. King's husband.  He was glad that he had decided to meet Mrs. King, even though he was still unsure why he had decided to do so.

Taking her hand in his, Billy's voice was soft.  "Amanda, we'll take care of this.  Just go home for now and we'll call you."

Amanda's eyes flooded with tears, but her voice strong she said, "My husband is a good man, Mr. Melrose.  He went to Eustocia to help people.  I don't know why people may be trying to kill him, but you need to know that he is a good man."

Billy smiled at her loyalty to a man she hadn't spoken to in years.  "I understand, Amanda.  And please, call me Billy.  If anyone calls for your husband, do as he asked and don't tell them where he is.  I promise someone from the Agency will call you by the end of the day."

Amanda smiled warmly at him, "Thank you, Mr.… I mean, Billy.  Thank you."

**************************************************************************

Opening the door to the Q-Bureau, Billy smiled at the man inside.  His feet propped up against the desk, he was staring out the window.

"I thought I told you I wanted that report on my desk by 5, Stetson!" Billy barked.

Lee sat up straight, then seeing the smile on Billy's face, relaxed.

"What's up, Billy?"

"Well, seeing how much you enjoy paperwork, I have a new case for you."

Like a little boy at Christmas, Lee's eyes lit up, and he leaned forward in anticipation.  Taking a seat across from him, Billy's tone softened.  "I got a call from a woman this morning asking for our help and I think she may be related to a case that came over the wire this morning from Eustocia."

Lee looked on in interest, but to Billy's surprise did not react.  He had assumed that Lee might make the connection to Amanda's husband.  But Amanda had said it had been years since they'd spoken.  Maybe Lee didn't know.

"So what's up, Billy?" Lee prodded him on.

Billy handed Lee the report he had received and waited a few moments for Lee to read it.  Lee perused it quickly and then turned to Billy expectantly.  "What's this woman got to do with this?"

"I'm not sure, but she said her husband moved to Eustocia ten years ago and she hasn't heard much from him since.  But she got a call from him this morning saying that he was in the states, but if anyone called her looking for him, she shouldn't let them know where he is."

"So you think this guy is the American who assassinated the President?"

"I think he's the guy accused of it."

"So you think he's innocent?" Lee asked in surprise.

"I'm not sure.  I'm withholding judgment for now.  But she seems very convinced he's innocent and I feel like I should trust her."

Lee looked at him skeptically.  "You do?  Some strange woman you don't know contacts you.  You don't find that suspicious enough as it is?  Maybe she's involved."

Billy looked at him squarely in the eye and Lee realized he was being tested.  He rethought through his words to decide where he went wrong.  "You know her?" he asked.  Billy shook his head no.  "You know how she got your number?" 

Billy nodded his head and then simply said, "You gave it to her."

Lee stood up, "I what!  This woman is lying to you, Billy!  I've never given anyone your number.  You know I wouldn't do that!"

"Sit down, son," Billy said, his tone paternal.

Lee sat down looking at his friend warily.

He handed Lee a piece of paper.  "Here's her contact information.  You need to talk to her."

The paper fell out of Lee's hand and fluttered to the floor.

"Amanda?" he questioned, his voice barely a whisper.  Then concern and love clear on his face, he looked straight at Billy.  "Is she alright?"

"Surprisingly so, considering.  But you should see her," Billy repeated, then rising and leaving the office.

Lee leaned over to take the paper in his hand again.  "Amanda," he whispered once again.  "What happened?"

To Be Continued…


	9. When It's Over, It's Over

Note:  First off, thank you once again for the great reviews.  They are very inspiring.  I'm using my ability to hold your interest here as a dry run type exercise for writing a "real" story – one where I actually make up my own characters and storyline, etc.  So any constructive criticism would be appreciated.  And of course, simple praise goes a long way towards stroking my ego, and I love it.

Second, I had this really detailed outline of precisely where I wanted this series to go, what the topic of each chapter was going to be, etc.  And it's gone.  I'm not sure where it is, how it got deleted from my computer, but it's simply gone.  And for some reason I guess I didn't back it up.  This may delay updates even further.  I'm sorry.  Please be patient with me.

**Chapter 9: When It's Over, It's Over**

_March 11, 1985__ – later (early evening)_

Lee sat on the couch – a couch he'd sat on so many times in the past, and looked around.  The room had this eerie feeling to it now.  It was so familiar and yet so different than the last time he'd seen it.  Pictures of Philip and Jamie adorned the walls, the mantle, every free place in the room.  Pictures of two little boys he didn't even know.

Placing the tea on the coffee table, Amanda sat down, shaking slightly.  Lee took in her small frame, looking into her eyes.  As Billy had done, he saw the inner strength there.  He saw pain and worry.  Only far beneath these things did he see the young woman he had known eleven years ago.  Something in him hurt at this realization.  She was still the best friend he had ever had, and he didn't even know her anymore.

His voice soft and gruff, he asked, "What happened, Amanda?"

Amanda took a deep breath and told her story again.  She didn't tell him any more than she had told Billy – there wasn't much more to tell.  She ignored the fact that the person she was talking to was Lee, she ignored the remnants of a long ago friendship that made her want to move closer to him on the couch, bury her head in his chest, and cry.  Cry for the father her sons had never known, the husband she really didn't have despite the existence of her marriage license, and the loss of the man sitting across the couch from her who she barely knew anymore.  Looking into his eyes, she could see that the intervening years hadn't been any kinder on him than on her and she wished she'd been there for him.  She wished he'd been there for her.  She wished … she wished that life was different, that the last eleven years hadn't happened.

The door opened and shut in one motion, two small blurs moving past them and into the kitchen. "Hi, Mom," two voices called out.  Amanda immediately amended her last thought.  There were lots of things about the last eleven years that she would like to change, but the two boys in the kitchen were her reminder that the years had not been all bad, and that the things she had done without – Joe and Lee and all that they represented, had been completely worth it.

"Boys, come in here," she called and Lee was impressed.  Amanda sounded like a mom.  It was a strange sound.

Coming to either side of her on the couch, the boys each planted a kiss on her cheek, and she rubbed their heads affectionately.  "I want you to meet an old friend of mine.  Philip, Jamie, this is Mr. Stetson."

The boys both looked at Lee, smiling at him openly and warmly.  Lee found himself smiling back, unable to help it.  The light-haired boys with bright eyes that echoed Amanda's love of life were too endearing for him to reply in any other way.  "Hi Philip, hi Jamie."  He could hardly believe the boy standing in front of him was the same small baby he had held years ago.  It was like his entire life had changed somehow.  How had they gotten to this point?  How could Amanda's life revolve completely around these two children he didn't even know?

"Hi, Mr. Stetson," Philip and Jamie said, then turning around they took off for the backyard.

Lee leaned over slightly, taking Amanda's hand in his own.  "It's going to be okay," he whispered, although her eyes had followed the boys outside.  "We'll find Joe and sort this all out."

Amanda turned back to him, her eyes burning bright, "You know he didn't do anything wrong, don't you, Lee?  Joe couldn't have done anything wrong."

While over the years, Lee had learned that it often was those you expected to be innocent who were the most skilled at being devious, he knew that was hardly what Amanda was looking to hear.  Not wanting to lie to her, though, he simply squeezed her hand a little tighter.

**************************************************************************

The sounds in the otherwise still house startled Amanda although she wasn't asleep.  Lee had left before dinner, and perhaps noticing the tension in the air, the boys and Mother had chosen to go to bed hours ago, leaving Amanda in the otherwise silent house.  She'd gotten into bed herself about midnight, but lay awake staring at the ceiling trying to sort out all that was happening.  It was now 2am, and there was a noise below her window.  Getting out of bed, she cautiously looked outside.

Suddenly, Amanda felt like a four-year-old child.  There was a strange man climbing her trellis.  Quickly closing the shade before she was seen, she ran downstairs.  Finding the number Lee had given her before he left, she dialed with shaking hands.  The phone rang on the other hand for only a moment before Lee's voice, gruff with sleep, came over the line.

Her voice stronger than she felt she whispered, "Sorry to wake you, Lee, but there's someone trying to break into the house."

Her voice was so calm that at first Lee was unsure why she would even call at this hour.  But as he awoke, realization hit.  "What!" he screamed into the phone.

Her voice still calm, Amanda replied, "There's a man climbing up the trellis that leads to my bedroom window.  I've gone downstairs, but the boys and Mother…" A hand clamped over her mouth, Amanda was cut off.

Dropping the phone, she threw her elbow back, catching her attacker right in the gut.  His hand dropped from her mouth, Amanda ran forward, grabbing the first thing she could find – a broom handle.  Turning around, ready to hit her attacked over the head, she took in the form of the man slumped over her kitchen counter and the broom dropped to the ground with a loud clatter.

Tears falling from her eyes, mostly from fear, she moved toward the phone.  All calm in her voice gone, she cried into the phone.  "It's okay, Lee.  I'm okay."

But there was no answer on the other end.  It was only then that Amanda registered the beeping in her ear.

**************************************************************************

Lee banged open the backdoor, ignoring the late hour, or the sleeping inhabitants upstairs.  "Amanda!" he called out, panic in his voice, before he realized she was right in front of him.  Tear tracks still on her cheeks, she was starting to get a hold of herself.  Not two feet away was a slumped form, breathing heavily, staring at Amanda in amazement.

No one said anything for a moment, and then turning to Lee, Amanda asked, "How did you get here so fast?"

Lee was trying to focus on what was going on and the question took him by surprise.  Finally, he realized he was a little unclear as to what had happened in the last half hour or so of his life.  He'd been asleep, then Amanda had been on the phone, and then he heard the clear sounds of an attack.  And now he was in her kitchen with no idea of how he got there or how long it took.  Not knowing what to say, he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

Turning away from him, her maternal instincts on in full, Amanda made her way over to the man still trying to catch his breath and placed a warm hand on his back.  "Are you okay, Joe?"

"Where did you learn to do that?" he replied, breathlessly.

With a pained expression on her face, Amanda spoke softly, "I'm so sorry.  I took a self-defense class last year.  I didn't know who you were and …"

Placing a hand on her arm, Joe smiled up at her warmly from his crouch over the counter.  "I'm glad.  Well, not so much right this minute, but I'm glad."

The three adults laughed and Joe gingerly straightened his torso.  Groaning slightly, he smiled at Amanda in amazement again.

Turning to Lee, Joe smiled, "Glad to see you're still around to watch over my Amanda, Lee."

Something in Lee snapped and he had to bite his tongue in order not to point out that she was not _Joe's_ Amanda.  Joe hadn't even been around, Amanda could not be Joe's.  But emotions rolling over him like a rollercoaster tonight, he then realized that she wasn't his Amanda either.  He had not been around any more than Joe had.  Until tonight he hadn't even realized that they were living half a world apart.  She had two pre-teen boys he'd never met.  She was much more capable of taking care of herself than he ever would have known.  Turning to look at her, Lee realized for the second time that day that Amanda King was a woman he did not know.

"I think we should sit down," Amanda said softly, choosing to take charge of the situation.  Both men looked at her in surprise, this one statement once again bringing to light how much she had changed since they had last seen her.  Eleven years ago, Amanda was spirited but muted.  She spoke her mind, but quietly.  And she rarely took charge of a situation.  Clearly spending over a decade raising two children on her own had had an impact.

The three adults moved to the living room and sat down.  Amanda looked at Lee meaningfully, clearly expecting him to explain to Joe why he was here.  At a loss of what else to do, Lee did as she wished, explaining his job and why he was there.

_March 12, 1985__ (early morning)_

Placing a hand on Amanda's arm, Lee spoke to her softly.  "Stay here.  I'm going to take Joe to the agency so we can meet with Billy.  Just do me a favor.  Do you work?"  

"Yes.  I run a program that distributes necessities – food, books, and things like that, to some of the more seriously disabled people in the D.C. area, Necessities for Life."  Her tone implied she had a job as a gasoline station attendant and Lee shook his head in amazement.  What had happened to Amanda!  She'd always been caring, but never this in control.

"Take the day off, okay?" he asked her, his voice warm.  "Just stick around here?" Amanda smiled, and then walked Lee and Joe to the door.

Joe stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say.  Finally reaching down, he placed a soft kiss on Amanda's cheek, and followed Lee out the door.

**************************************************************************

The timid knock on the backdoor roused Amanda from her musings.  The boys had long since left for school and her mother had gone to spend the day shopping with friends.  Amanda had spent most of the morning on the phone with other employees of the charity, but now was sitting on the couch staring into space, still feeling overwhelmed by the events of the last day.

Going over to the door, she opened it and let Lee inside.  His eyes were filled with concern and Amanda immediately felt herself tense up.  Without a word she moved toward the couch, sitting down.  Lee sat next to her, his body turned slightly so he could see her face.

"Have you seen Joe since this morning?" he asked.

Amanda looked at him oddly, "Of course not.  He's with you."  At the look on Lee's face, she got up.  "Isn't he?" she asked, panic coming through over the otherwise calmness of her voice.

"The ambassador of Eustocia came to help us on the case.  They've both disappeared."

At a lack of what else to do, Amanda began to pace.  Then just as suddenly, she sank down onto the couch.  "I don't know what's going on.  I haven't even heard from Joe in years and now…" she began to cry – the emotional turmoil of the last few days too much to take.

Lee moved closer to her on the couch and took her in his arms.  She leaned against him gratefully as he rubbed her back with slow, comforting motions.

As she got a hold of herself, Amanda backed away, smiling at Lee gratefully.  Precisely what happened next, neither would be able to tell.  Without warning or thought, they found themselves leaning closer together until their lips met in a gentle kiss.  Lee's hands still on Amanda's back tightened, bringing her even closer to him and the kiss deepened.  Long ago emotions, forgotten and ignored, rushed to the surface.

Then just as suddenly, Amanda pulled back.  Trying to get some semblance of control over her emotions and her heartbeat, she leapt for the phone when it rang.  "Hello?" she said breathlessly into the receiver.  "But I didn't… Ms. Pierce, I didn't…Where are they? I'll be right there."  Hanging up the phone she turned to look at Lee, panic clear in her eyes.  "Someone is at the school saying they are a private detective I hired to keep Joe away, but Lee, I didn't hire anyone."

Without another word, or a thought about what had transpired moments ago on the couch, Amanda and Lee were out the door and running to Lee's car.

**************************************************************************

Entering the school gymnasium, Amanda stopped short.  Philip and Jamie were on the trampoline, although neither was jumping.  A man stood in front of them with a gun pointed at Jamie.  His eyes, however, were a few feet behind him where Joe stood next to a tall, thin, dark-skinned man Amanda did not know.

Before she knew what was happening, Lee had run forward, crashing into the man with the gun sending it sprawling.  The man next to Joe leaned forward to pick it up as Philip and Jamie ran forward into Amanda's waiting arms.

Turning around, the three watched the scuffle on the floor as the man who had held them hostage tried to get away.  But Lee held him down, albeit with some difficulty, finally pinning him to the ground on his stomach.  The man who had been with Joe helped Lee to drag the would-be-kidnapper to the climbing rope where they made a rough make-shift knot around his wrists.  Lee took the gun and trained it on him lest he should try to get out of his loose bonds.

Sounds seemed to come from everywhere at once, then, as reinforcements arrived.  Amid the confusion, Amanda felt Philip stiffen in her arms and looking up from her perch crouched on the ground beside her sons, she saw Joe approaching them.

"Dad?" Philip asked in a quiet voice that held equal parts hope and hopelessness.  

Reaching out a hand to jostle the boy's head lightly, Joe replied, "Philip" almost in awe.  Leaning down, he took Jamie's face in his own, smiling brightly.  "It's so good to see you boys again!" he exclaimed.

While Philip and Jamie had virtually no recollection of their father apart from what Amanda and Dotty had told them, as young boys they had often wondered about their father, and so without hesitation, launched themselves into his arms.  Joe laughed heartedly, for the first time understanding why Amanda had wanted children so much all along.

_March 15, 1985___

Sitting in the veranda outside, Amanda and Joe chatted in the early evening twilight.  After the Prime Minister revealed himself, the charges against Joe had been dropped.  Joe had decided to spend the next several days with Amanda and the boys.  He was struggling with the desire to go back to Eustocia and try once again to make things right and to stay here and get to know his family.

He smiled as Amanda told him about her day.  Shaking his head slightly he realized how little he knew his wife.  While he had of course always held her in the highest regard, he had never imagined her coming so far or doing so much.  She had amazed him over and over again in the past few days, first with her ability to defend herself, then with the business acumen she had gathered in running her own charity, then with her ability to bounce back and accept all of the changes in her life, and now with her latest announcement.  She was explaining to him now that while she enjoyed her work, she thought it might be time to move on.  She wasn't sure what to, but she had a very capable vice president at Necessities for Life, and thought she might want to do something else.

Smiling at her warmly, Joe whispered, "You're not the same woman I married, Amanda King."

Amanda smiled back at him, "Nor are you the man I married, Sweetheart."

Leaning back slightly, Joe took Amanda's hands in his.  His voice soft, he nearly whispered, "I was thinking of moving back to the states.  Get to know the boys."

"They'd like that," Amanda told him.

"I think," Joe began, and then stopped just as suddenly, trying to find the right words, "I think considering everything, that as much as this may seem a foolish thing to do…" he trailed off again staring Amanda straight in the eyes, "we should have done this a long time ago."

"We should have done what, Joe?" Amanda asked, sincerely confused.

"Amanda,… Sweetheart, I think… I think we should get a divorce," Joe whispered.

Amanda laughed, a sweet laugh that filled the air.  Moving closer to him, she removed her hands from Joe's, placing her arms around him and bringing him into a warm hug.

"All things considered, I think that's a wonderful idea."

To Be Continued…


	10. Evening Gowns, Champaign, and Ballads…Oh...

Note:  I'm sorry this took SOOO long to update.  I've hit a spot even busier than normal.  We're talking two hours of sleep a night, etc.  That leaves me with both lack of time and energy, but also at a lack of creativity.  Hopefully, the following hasn't suffered too much as a result.

**Chapter 10: Evening Gowns, ****Champaign****, and Ballads…Oh My!**

_March 20, 1985___

Lee approached Christi's desk whistling.  After a night spent tossing and turning restlessly, he'd gotten a hold of his emotions.  The issue of the other afternoon with Amanda had been eating at his subconscious since the case ended.  For the first few days he'd ignored it, but last night he'd resolved the issue.

He realized now that he'd missed having Amanda in his life.  That, combined with pure, unadulterated admiration at the woman she'd become had caused him to lose his head for a moment.

Still, despite his actions, his admiration, he knew Amanda King was a mother, a wife, a homeowner.  She was not the sort of woman he normally got involved with, nor was she the type he wanted to.

The kiss had been nice, but not as earth shattering as he would have hoped and that furthered this thought.

He wanted Amanda in his life again.  He'd realized last night what a bad choice it had been to cut her out years ago.  So, he needed to call her.  Talk to her about the other day and let her know that he wanted to be friends again, but no more.

The issue resolved, he found himself content and could now focus on the more pressing issue -  getting a date for tomorrow night's embassy party.  And with that he found himself watching his date of choice – Christi.  She smiled at him as he approached, but was on the phone.

He stepped a bit away to wait for her.  Looking across the bullpen, he saw a familiar figure a few desks away talking with Francine.  Although quiet, he could hear their conversation from where he stood.  In a barely suppressed condescending tone, the blonde laughed, "That must have been exciting for you!"

The response came back surprisingly strong, "Apparently, you are not a mother, Ms. Desmond!" Lee bit his tongue to keep from laughing out loud.  "It was hardly exciting to see my sons being held at gunpoint."

Simultaneously, the smiles on both Lee and Francine's faces fell.

Without thought, Lee found himself moving toward them, placing his hands on Amanda's shoulders, as if he could protect her now from what must have been an awful night then.  Francine looked up at him, her voice more muted now, "We're going over Mrs. King's debriefing."

Lee nodded, and then bending down whispered into Amanda's ear, "Come see me before you leave."  She nodded without looking at him.

****************************************************************************

Sighing heavily, Amanda stood patiently beside Lee's desk hoping he'd get back soon.  She was tired, with Joe in town, life had been crazier than normal, and she just wanted to head home.  A young woman approached her, smiling.  "If you're waiting for Lee, he must have headed out."

Amanda looked quizzically at the woman, and then extended her hand, "Hi.  I'm Amanda King, an old friend of Lee's."

The woman smiled amicably, "I'm Christi.  I work here.  Lee was by earlier – I'm pretty sure he was looking to invite me to an embassy ball later this week.  But he's disappeared.  I know he wouldn't be around here and not yet made his way back over to extend the invitation, so I think he must be gone."

Amanda nodded her head, "He told me not to leave before I talked to him, but I really should be getting home…" she looked at her watch.

"Well, I can tell him you were waiting, Amanda," Christi offered.

"That would be…" Amanda trailed off as the topic of conversation seemed to come from out of nowhere.

"Amanda, Christi," Lee said somewhat breathlessly.  "Today has just gotten out of hand.  I wanted to take you to lunch, Amanda, but I'm just not going to have the time.  Would you happen to be free tomorrow night?"

Amanda nodded wearily, not sure what it was she was agreeing to.

Christi, on the other hand, watched the scene with interest.   It looked like she was about to lose her party invite. 

"Great.  I have to go to an embassy ball at the Dutch embassy.  Can you come?" Amanda nodded again.  Walking away, Lee called over his shoulder, "I'll pick you up at seven."

Blinking quickly to try to sort out the last few minutes, Amanda caught sight of Christi.  "Oh!" she exclaimed, "I didn't mean to steal your invite." she apologized.

"Not a big deal," Christi smiled, "They'll be other parties."  She started to walk back to her desk, then changed her mind and turned around.  "Look, Amanda.  I'm not sure how close you and Lee are, but you should know he's a bit of a playboy.  I was actually planning on turning him down tomorrow for just that reason.  I'm the only one in the steno pool he hasn't taken out in the last two months.  They all warned me that I was just his type when I first got here – I spell Christi with an "i" and for some reason that matters, and I…" she trailed off, looking down at the well-filled out bodice of her suit.  "I guess the good news is that it wasn't so much a warning as a congratulations.  Apparently Lee's quite the date."

Amanda shook her head slightly.  Lee was a playboy!  Well, that certainly explained the kiss the other night, didn't it!  Blocking out the crash judgments she knew she was about to make, she smiled again, "Thanks, Christi.  Lee and I are really just old friends," laughing self-depreciatingly she continued, "and since Amanda doesn't have an "i" and I'm not as … well, …," looking down at her own chest, "I don't think I have anything to worry about."

Christi laughed with Amanda, and then extended her arm again. "It was nice to meet you, Amanda."

****************************************************************************

Amanda adjusted the last bobby pin holding up her hair before heading downstairs.  She was nervous, but unsure why.  She hoped that either Christi was wrong about Lee or his expectations were that this night would different than his usual dates.

As she descended the staircase, she could hear Lee chatting with her mother in the kitchen.  She hadn't heard him arrive.  She smiled as she entered, and Lee, being the perfect gentleman, stood.  He came towards her, extending his hand to take hers.  "Amanda, you look lovely."

She smiled as she said her thanks, and in a few more moments they were out the door.

****************************************************************************

Lee stood at the bar, chatting amicably with the Indonesian ambassador.  He stood facing the room while they chatted, half his mind on the conversation, and half on the brunette across the room from him.  They had arrived about an hour earlier and Lee had to admit he was glad he'd asked her.  He wasn't even sure why he had, this was hardly the place to have a serious discussion, but he'd been so pressed for time at the office yesterday, it had made sense to him at the time.  Besides, Christi was unlikely to say yes.  She'd been rejecting him since her arrival in the steno pool a couple of months ago.

A man approached Amanda, one Lee did not recognize, and he watched them head out to the dance floor together.  The danced together with some ease, and for a moment Lee recalled dancing with Amanda at her wedding.   Then, too, he'd been amazed at her skills as a dancer.  She had a natural grace that lent itself to the dance floor.  Watching her, he realized her cheerful attitude helped as well.  It's always nice to dance with a smiling partner.  The pair tripped and giggling, each misjudging the other's steps and Lee smiled as he saw that her ability to laugh at herself also helped.

He turned away to get two glasses of red wine, and excusing himself from the ambassador headed back to their table to place the drinks down.  Moving around the couples around him, he tapped Amanda's partner on the shoulder.  "May I step in?" he asked, and the other man graciously stepped aside.

Placing his right hand on Amanda's waist and taking her right hand in his left, he sighed in contentment.  It was nice to be enjoying a friendly night with Amanda.  It had been way too long.

"Penny for your thoughts," Amanda smiled at Lee's sigh.

He chuckled, "It'll cost you at least a nickel."  Off her quizzical look, he added, "Inflation."  She smiled at his lame attempt of a joke, before he said, "I was just thinking about how nice this is.  It's been so long since you and I enjoyed a night out."

"Lee…" Amanda drew his name out slightly, looking at their feet for a second.  Then looking up at him, compassion in her eyes, she said softly, "The other day… in the living room… the kiss… It was a mistake."

Shaking his head, trying to determine this sudden turn of events, Lee moved his left hand further behind her and led her off the dance floor.  Stopping by their table briefly to grab their wine glasses he led her outside to the balcony.

The stood in silence for a few moments, enjoying one of the first warm nights of the year, as well as the beautiful garden that lay below them and the soft music that wafted out from the room at their backs.

His voice quiet so as not to break the spell, Lee began speaking again. "I know.  When I said it was nice to be here with you like this, I meant it just like that.  I've realized the last few days that I've missed having you in my life.  As my friend, I mean.  I thought I was keeping you and the boys safe by shutting you out all those years ago, and maybe I was, but now it just feels like a giant mistake."  Turning towards her and taking her hands in his, Lee's eyes shown with unshed tears.  "Amanda, you are my family.  I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when Joe left, and I'm so sorry that I didn't let myself watch you change the way you have in the past twelve years.  You're so different than the last time we spoke, but you still feel safe and familiar.  The sparkle in your eyes is still the same.  And I can only assume that this is what it's like with family.  That time apart, no matter how long, doesn't really end the relationship."

In a step, Amanda was beside him, her arms around him.  Leaning towards him, she kissed his cheek.  "I've missed you, too," she whispered.  "Welcome home, Lee."

**To Be Continued…**


	11. Pushing the Limit

AN: I guess I'm going to have to keep apologizing.  For those of you who keep reading despite my long sabbaticals, I appreciate it greatly.  Thank you!  I continue to be busy.  It's sort of one of those periods of life where everything seems to be changing.  It's amazing how much time it takes to navigate even good changes.  Additionally, I seem to be having a problem getting where I want to go with this.  But I promise, I'm constantly thinking about it, if not writing it, so there's no danger in my not finishing.  Besides, we are in the home stretch now. 

**Chapter 11: Pushing the Limit**

_December 24, 1985___

"Come on, Mom" Jamie whined from his place on the couch.  "You promised," he continued, but stopped as his mother entered the room to give him a disapproving glance.

"Okay, Jamie.  You're right.  I promised one present a piece tonight.  Go ahead." Amanda smiled warmly at the two boys, glancing up to include Dotty and Joe in the smile as Philip and Jamie began looking through the gifts at the bottom of the tree in an effort to find the best ones.

Joe and Dotty sat on the couch together, talking and laughing as they watched the boys.  Amanda tried to keep her thoughts on the boys, but found she was a bit distracted.  A slight tapping on the kitchen window caused her to shift her eyes in that direction.  A pair of smiling eyes attached to a roguishly handsome face watched her.  She got up and went to the back door, letting Lee in.  As he entered, she grabbed him in a tight hug, whispering softly, "Where were you?  Mr. Melrose said you missed your last check in.  I was worried sick!"

Placing a chaste kiss on the tip of her nose, he whispered back, "I'm fine.  I got it, Amanda.  Everything's set for tomorrow."

They smiled at each other as they entered the living room to see Philip and Jamie glaring at each other.

"You did that on purpose," Philip accused after a pause.

"I did not, but you…" Jamie started to respond, when Philip took a step closer.

"Boys!" both Joe and Amanda said strongly.  

Philip took a small step away from Jamie.  Then turning to Amanda, he nearly whined, "Mom, he stepped on the…"

"I didn't step on it.  I fell on it when you pushed me!" Jamie cut in.  His words were strong, but his lower lip trembled.

Amanda turned to Dotty and Joe hoping one of them had seen the incident.  Dotty shook her head slightly, indicating that she had not been able to make out exactly what had happened in the scuffle.

With an exasperating sigh, Amanda turned to the boys, "Okay, that's enough present opening tonight.  We'll talk about this tomorrow.  For now, it's late.  Go up and get ready for bed."

Walking past the adults, Philip mumbled a greeting to Lee as he passed, and as the boys ascended the stairs the fighting could be heard.  Walking to the foot of the steps, Amanda called out loudly, "Okay!  I said, 'Enough', boys!"

****************************************************************************

The house was quiet.  The boys had long since gone to bed, Dotty following shortly, and Joe had left as well.  Amanda and Lee sat quietly on the couch, watching the snow fall outside.  Softly, so as not to disturb the peacefulness of the moment Amanda said, "I'm glad you were able to come today, even if just for a few minutes."

Lee smiled, "Me, too.  It was good to be here."  For a moment his mind wandered to moments spent with Doug and Maddy over Christmas.  Suddenly a thought occurred to him.  "Can I borrow your phone?" he asked.

"Sure," Amanda smiled at him.

There was silence for a moment while Lee held the phone to his ear.  Then in a soft, almost shy voice, he asked, "Maddy?  Hi, it's Lee.  Lee Stetson.…  Good, and you?…  How are the girls?…  That's good to hear.… Yes, I am.… Well, I really just wanted to wish you and the girls a Merry Christmas.… Thank you… I will be, Maddy.  I promise.  Bye, now."

Amanda watched the conversation from the couch, and when he turned around her eyebrows were raised.  From the conversation it was clear that was not one of Lee's girlfriends.  Reading the question in her eyes, Lee said, "That was Maddy.  Her husband was my partner a few years back."  There was a slight pause while he joined her on the couch again.  "He past away a few years back."

Amanda gasped, but then tried to hold back her shock.  Lee reached for her hand, although he wasn't sure which of them he was trying to comfort.  At the contact, Amanda moved closer and wrapped her arms around him.

Lee responded and the two sat holding each other.  No words were spoken, but Lee could hear Amanda take large, shuddering breathes, and knew she was once again dealing with his mortality.  Things had changed between them, there was no question.

As she said, Amanda had begun to pass off her responsibilities at Necessities for Life off to her Vice President.  She had yet to determine what she wanted to do instead.  In the interim she had been putting in a few hours each day at the Agency.  Billy had been so impressed with her over the course of the case with Joe, he had offered her the job before knowing that she was looking for something.  She had accepted, but explained that she had little interest in becoming a permanent part of the steno pool.  Once hearing of her skills, Billy agreed it was not the right fit for her.  However, neither of them was sure what the right fit was.  Billy suggested perhaps agent training, but the next class was not starting for a few months yet.  So the agreement that they had come to had Amanda working part time in the steno pool, perhaps helping Lee out in the field from time to time with some lighter things, and eventually training to be an agent.

They hadn't been working together a lot, but just having her in the Agency had changed the tenor of their relationship.  Amanda was much more aware of what Lee's job entailed and thus how much danger his life was in.  Lee, for his part, just on the few occasions he had worked with her, had learned quickly that Amanda King was not the shy girl he remembered.  With as much clarity as that thought may have had before, it was all the stronger now.  She was quick-witted and calm in dangerous circumstances and she seemed to have amazing instincts.

Their relationship seemed older now – more mature, like adult friends.  Which, Lee supposed, they were.  Even childhood friendships have to grow up.  His friendship with Amanda had been helped along quite a bit by the eleven year hiatus, and so was almost completely different from what he remembered.

Still, there were times like this, when Amanda felt like exactly who she was – an old friend.

_May 20, 1986__  
  
_

From within his bathroom, Lee listened to the talk outside.  He could hear little except for chatter and laughter.  Sometimes he could distinguish one voice from the other, but never determine the words.  He whistled while he washed his face.  He was happy today, things were looking up.

He had made some changes in his life recently and it looked like they were working out.  After his umpteenth attempt at a date with Christi and the subsequent rejection, he had flat out asked her why she kept saying no.  He was surprised at both the reply and her honesty.  It wasn't that Lee hadn't considered that some people may not approve or want to participate in his current lifestyle.  Clearly he had.  It was simply that he started to look around at the people who disapproved.

He liked Christi – he actually liked her more after their chat.  At first he wasn't even sure why, but later he realized that it was simply respect.  He hadn't respected her before, he had barely known her.  Now that he did know her a little better, he realized how likeable she was, not simply to the eyes, but to him as a person as well.

Of course, while Amanda had not said as much, he knew that she, too, disapproved of his current choice in dating partners.  Which when he thought about it in light of his conversation with Christi, made him question – why did it not bother him that his closest friend did not approve of his actions?

The best answer he had come up with was that some part of him, hidden deep within perhaps, also did not approve of his behavior.  But he had come to see it as a way of surviving, of making it from day to day.  With Amanda in his life again, however, he wondered if he even needed it.  Dates used to be his way of having some small semblance of a life outside of work, but now he had Amanda and her family.

After his chat with her, he'd even had lunch with Christi once or twice (all platonic, of course).

All of this, however, may not have mattered at all had he not met Leslie.  She as at an embassy party he had attended two weeks ago (surprisingly with Christi – now that they were friends she was much more likely to say yes).  The two had chatted briefly, but Lee hadn't thought about it much.

Leslie called him two days later, shy and unsure.  She said she hoped she wasn't being too forward, but she had enjoyed talking to him during the party and wondered if they might get together again sometime.  Lee agreed, and had been having more fun than he would have expected getting to know Leslie.  She was perfect.  With her security clearance, she had already known who he was, she traveled a lot as she was a translator, so knew many of the same places he did, and of course, she was pretty and pleasant.

Surprisingly, Leslie and Amanda had also been getting along very well.  Lee was almost hesitant to introduce them, remembering vividly the way Eva and Amanda had clearly upset each other.  But after three dates, Leslie said she was tired of hearing about Amanda and not having a face to put with the name.  So, he had set up dinner for the three of them and watched in amazement as the two women had become fast friends.

Entering the kitchen of his apartment now, he caught them in mid-joke.  Amanda was bent over a pot, stirring it quickly, while Leslie appeared to be sautéing something.  Sniffing, Lee realized he was in for a treat – both women were good cooks, and clearly had done a good job of pooling their talents.

He started to ask what the joke was, when both Amanda and Leslie turned to him.  Turning to each other quickly, they nodded, and then looking back at him: "_I could while away the hours…"_

Lee suddenly realized he may not like Amanda being friends with his girlfriends.

**To Be Continued…**


	12. Just How Many Does It Take To Tango?

AN:  Sorry, yet again.  I am trying to get this up as quickly as possible.  I hate waiting months for updates when I'm reading a story.  But I've been just so busy.  Since my last update, I've finished school, spent a little more than a month in Europe, and started a new job.  These things have been fun (although stressful) and have left little time or energy for writing.  Hopefully, as I get more settled into my job, I'll have more time and energy to devote towards this.

Thank you, once again, for continuing to read.

Also, this is sort of shorter than I'd been hoping for.  I'm sorry, but there was this natural break, so I had to stop.

**Chapter 12: Just How Many Does It Take To Tango?**

_May 30, 1986___

Lee led Amanda swiftly around the dance floor in a jitterbug that was the envy of many of the other party guests.  Finishing with a flourish, the two moved towards the bar without a word.  Smiling at the bartender, Lee ordered two white wines and two waters.  Catching her breath, Amanda placed a warm hand on Lee's arm.  "Sorry Leslie wasn't available."

Lee smiled at her, "No big deal.  It was fun to come here with you for a change.  Besides, Leslie will be back from her trip to Paris tomorrow."

As they spoke, they moved towards a small table in the corner of the room, and Amanda sat down before replying.  "Sounds like things are getting pretty serious for you two," she teased him.

"I guess," Lee replied slowly, thinking.  He and Leslie had been dating for about three weeks now and he supposed they were serious.  Neither of them were seeing any one else, and they saw each other frequently, but the things he normally used as milestones in a relationship seemed to be happening slowly.  Apart from a few kisses, he and Leslie weren't even close to being intimate.  Then again, Lee supposed, this had been a poor milestone before, since he had hardly progressed slowly in previous relationships.

"Well, you seem to like her quite a bit," Amanda said, bringing Lee back to their conversation.

"Yes, she feels …" Lee paused trying to think of the right word.  The word that came to mind was "familiar" but as that didn't make any sense, Lee continued looking for something that made more sense.  "She feels safe," he settled on.

Amanda smiled at him, although secretly wondered at the answer.  Safe?  While she was glad that Lee was looking at more serious relationships now, she wished he had picked something besides safe to describe Leslie.  Shouldn't relationships early on be passionate?  

With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, Amanda recalled her own relationship with Dean.  Like Lee, she never would have chosen passionate or anything even remotely similar to describe her feelings for him.  In fact, safe may have been a good choice.  Perhaps that was why the relationship had fizzled out with so little notice.

She hoped Lee's relationship with Leslie fared better.

******************************************************************************

The car slowed to a halt outside Amanda's house, and she reached over to squeeze his hand gently before moving to get out.  "Thanks, Lee.  I had fun tonight."

"Thank you.  Those parties can be so boring.  Going with you made it fun," he smiled back, opening his own door and coming around to open hers.

They walked to her door arm in arm, each smiling softly.  Amanda turned to thank him again as they got to the door.  "Do you want to come in?" she asked, "Mother would love to chat."

"I can't," he said, sounding a bit disappointed.  "I need to get in early tomorrow to begin working on the Eastbrook case."

"Okay," she smiled at him, and leaning, forward gave him a hug.  As they pulled apart, their eyes met and neither moved for an instant.  Then suddenly, with no apparent warning, they moved towards one another again, their lips brushing.

Pulling apart more forcefully, Amanda turned towards her door.  "Say hi to Leslie for me," she whispered, her voice strained.

"Um…yeah," he mumbled, turning towards his car.

******************************************************************************

Lee sat on his couch a drink in one hand.  The ice clinked softly against the glass as it melted.  While he had poured himself a scotch upon arriving home, he had barely touched it.  His head was already spinning without the aid of alcohol.  

What had happened?  How was it that they had come to be kissing each other, even briefly?  Lee could not sort out all of his confused feelings – kissing Amanda was ludicrous, and cruel given Leslie's presence in his life – cruel to both Leslie and Amanda.  He thought back to the kiss he had shared with Amanda last year and recalled how it had failed to live up to any expectations he had ever had.  Yet, some lingering voice in the back of his mind felt the need to keep inserting the thought that this time, in this brief kiss, things had been different.

Unbidden, the disloyal thought entered Lee's mind even as he tried to stave it off: that momentary contact with Amanda was more passionate than any he had shared thus far with Leslie.

The phone rang, bringing Lee from his musings.  Leaning over to answer it, he sighed into the phone by way of greeting.

"Lee? You okay?" came the familiar, caring voice.  "You sound tired."

Smiling slightly, Lee shook his head.  "I am.  Just came back from an embassy party with Amanda.  How's Paris?"

"It's okay.  I'm eager to get back home."

There was silence on the phone for a moment, before Leslie continued.  "Well, I just called to say hello.…"

"Hello," Lee smiled into the phone.

"I'll see you tomorrow night," Leslie said quietly.

"At the airport," Lee confirmed, hanging up the phone with a smile.  Getting up to move to his bedroom he put all further thoughts of Amanda from his mind.

******************************************************************************

Amanda sat at the breakfast bar, swirling the cup of cocoa absentmindedly.  The dregs of cocoa had gone cold long ago, but she sat there staring absently out of the window as if some answers would come to her from the night sky.

What had happened tonight?  Had she kissed Lee?  Had he kissed her?  She wasn't even sure who had initiated the brief kiss.  Nor was she sure that was important.  Why had they kissed?  She wanted to put it down to years of friendship; it wasn't unusual for her to kiss Debbie Anne McCabe on the cheek when they got together every year.  But this kiss hadn't been on the cheek.

And it hadn't felt like her kisses with Debbie Anne.  It hadn't even felt like the kiss she and Lee had shared last year.  This kiss had been more…real somehow.

Did she want it to be real?  Lee was with Leslie and she was happy on her own.  Well, she wasn't really on her own – she had her mother and Philip and Jamie … and Lee.  

Did she want to change her relationship with Lee?  She wasn't even sure what she wanted, what she felt for him.  Some part of her couldn't separate him from the small boy on the swings so long ago.  The memory was hazy, but there none-the-less.  She felt this need to protect him, still, and she wasn't sure that their getting involved romantically would be the best idea for him.

But another part of her was aware of the man he had become.  Someone warm and caring.  Someone who made her tingle with the slightest brush of her hand.  Someone safe.  Someone loving.  Someone … passionate.

To Be Continued…


	13. Eeny Meany Mighty Moe

**Chapter 13: Eeny Meany Mighty Moe**

_June 14, 1986___

Dotty smiled warmly at Joe, placing one hand on his arm while the other shielded her eyes from the bright sunlight.  "He looks great out there," she commented.

Joe nodded in agreement, but it was Lee who answered, "He's a natural!"  His hand warmly engulfing Leslie's, his eyes didn't leave the field while she glanced at him, wondering at the man she saw.  The pride on his face was almost fatherly.  The thought was clarified when a younger version of the boy on the field came over and Lee patted his head affectionately.  "How's the picture taking going?" he asked.

Jamie's face lit up when he looked at Lee, "It's great.  Thanks for the camera.  Mrs. Morrison even said she'd pay for any pictures I take of Andy.  Coach Wilkenson heard and offered me a job as the team photographer."

Four pairs of eyes moved away from the field to look at the small boy.  "What?" Joe asked.

"Yeah, isn't that neat?  I'm going to go tell Mom," Jamie said, turning to walk away.

He found Amanda at the snack stand, selling a brownie to Mrs. Michaelson.  "Mom, guess what?" he asked, nearly jumping up and down with excitement.

Across the field, Leslie could tell the exact moment Jamie told Amanda, could nearly see her face light up from far away.  She smiled as she watched Amanda enfold Jamie in her arms in excitement.  Knowing Amanda as she did, through Lee, she was always amazed at how close to her sons she was.  They seemed happy now that their father was back in their life, and they clearly appreciated Lee's sudden everyday presence in their lives as well, but they never spoke about the time before that like they had wanted for anything – even male role models.  And Amanda was still clearly their best friend, no matter how much they liked Joe and Lee.

She wanted that someday.  The family, the house, the white picket fence.  She couldn't tell if Lee was okay with that.  In some ways it seemed silly.  White picket fences did not fit into Lee's world.  But when she watched him with Amanda's boys, she wondered.  In just a short period of time, he had become such an ingrained part of their lives.  Apparently, from the stories she heard, he had not even really known the boys more than a year ago.  Now he spent nearly every night there, and even now that he was dating her, after the first few weeks, he started bringing her to Amanda's as well.  She could tell that some part of Lee liked the fact that the boys depended on him being there all the time.  She just wasn't sure if he would ever be ready to take on that sort of responsibility for real.  

******************************************************************************

As her eyes followed her youngest son out to the bleachers where he started taking more pictures, they kept going back to the boy standing at first base.  Watching him watching the pitcher with intent, she didn't notice she wasn't alone until she felt the hand on her shoulder.

She continued to watch Philip as he caught the ball easily, meaning the last out for the inning.  Philip's teammates cheered, and he glanced at her.  She raised her hands, so he could see her clapping.

It wasn't until he turned towards his teammates that she turned around, just as Lee softly said, "Amanda, we need to talk."

She nodded her head, trying to ignore the feelings inside.  She wasn't sure what to say.  They had managed to ignore this topic for two weeks now, but she knew they would need to talk about it eventually.  But what to say?  Should she apologize?  She wasn't sure that she had kissed him.  But, nor was she sure that she had not.  More importantly, she wasn't sure she was sorry.  Nor was she sure that he was.  The whole thing was so confusing, but clearing it up was not necessarily going to make things better between them.

With a sigh, she said, "This may not be the best place for this."

"I know," Lee replied softly.  "But I'm not sure where is.  We've both done a good job of avoiding this for the past few weeks, but we can't keep doing it."

It was right then, as if he had ESP, that Elliott Chambers came running up to the refreshment stand.  "Sorry I'm late, Amanda.  Hey, Lee!" Elliott said amicably.

Neither Lee nor Amanda said anything, barely acknowledging Elliott's arrival.  Looking between them quickly, Elliott laughed nervously.  "Well, thanks, Amanda.  I can take over now."

Shaking her head, Amanda looked up at Elliott.  "Sorry, Elliott.  I was lost in thought, I guess.  Um,… everything's in place.  Thanks," and she walked away without even looking at Lee.

Unfortunately for her, Lee felt certain that the time to talk had come, so following her, he grabbed a hold of her arm and led her to away from the field and the rest of her family.

"We need to talk," he repeated, his voice quiet, but stern.

"I know," she replied, "but…"

"Well, then where IS the best place?" he asked, cutting her off.

"I was just going to say that I don't know what to say."

"Oh," Lee looked at the ground.  Truthfully, neither did he, but he hadn't thought about that before.  Amanda was never at a loss of things to say, so he thought he just had to bring it up and she could keep up the conversation on her own.

"How are things with Leslie?" Amanda asked, no malice in her voice, just plain old interest.

Lee shook his head.  He didn't want to go there.  As far as he was concerned, his relationship with Amanda was completely separate from the one with Leslie.  He wanted to keep it that way, and talking about Leslie while he tried to sort out what had happened with Amanda would only confuse things – or more honestly, only confuse him.

"I care about you, Amanda.  Very much," he started.  "And I don't want to lose having you in my life."

"You won't."

Lee looked at the ground, unsure how to go on.  He had never seen Amanda so quiet.  "I'm sorry?"

"Is that a question?" she asked.

"I don't know.  I don't even know what happened, exactly, or why."

"Then what are you sorry for?  Are you sorry it happened?" Amanda tried hard to keep her voice even, to cover her fear that he was sorry it had happened, even if she wasn't sure she wasn't, but she failed.  Her voice cracked, and her vulnerability came shining through.

Strangely, it was just what Lee needed.  He moved closer to her, engulfing her in his arms.  "No…, yes…, maybe a little of both.  I love you, you have to know that.  You are my best friend, Amanda, and I don't want to lose that.  But, you and I both know that what happened on your porch was a mistake.  I love the place I have in your life, in Philip and Jamie's life.  I don't want it to change."

Amanda picked up immediately on what Lee was trying hard not to say, on what she had known he would say all along – she came with responsibilities, ones he was not ready or willing to take on.  She had known that all along.  It was almost a relief to hear him say that.  It clarified all of the thoughts and feelings that had been swirling around her head since that night.  

She wanted Lee, she knew she did, but she wasn't being honest with herself.  She didn't want him for who he was, and that was why she had been feeling confused.  She wanted him for the potential she saw in him to be her everything, but he wasn't that man, even if she thought she saw that potential.  Her everything included best friend, husband, lover, and father to her boys.  And Lee was not ready to be husband or father.  He may never be.  

So, she was being unfair – to both of them.  In the past two weeks, she had alternated between knowing that the kiss was a mistake and wishing that it wasn't.  The longer she had managed to avoid talking about it with Lee, the more she had managed to half convince herself she was already in love with him, even when she saw him with Leslie and felt little jealously.  She knew now, that she didn't feel jealous as Leslie didn't have the man she wanted.  Lee simply wasn't him.  Maybe it would have been convenient if he had been.  Then again, she was happy without him in those roles.  She had a full life and didn't need more.

Such thoughts cleared up, Amanda pulled away from Lee, smiling at him, the vulnerability from a moment before gone.  "I feel the same way," she whispered, leaning up to place a kiss on his cheek.

To Be Continued…


	14. They Don't Make Things Like They Used To

**Chapter 14: They Don't Make Things Like They Used To**

_July 28, 1986___

She hadn't meant for it to happen.  It had started as a meaningless lunch with an old friend.  How she got from there to here, she wasn't sure.  She was riddled with guilt and knew it was time to straighten things out, but wasn't even sure where to start.  She looked around at the group around her trying to keep the smile on her face despite the turmoil inside.

The two young boys were going on animatedly about their day.  Their grandmother was shaking her head as they recalled their antics as their father tried hard not to look too proud.  Lee was half listening, but seemed distracted, not noticing at all as the brunette to his left studied him intently.

Watching her watching him, she was curious as to what precisely was going on.  She had a peculiar look to her face, one that was hard to read.

The moment passed however, and dinner went on as usual.

She waited for later that night, after dinner, after she and Lee had left, after they had arrived back at his apartment, to try to broach the topic she'd been thinking about all night.  Despite the longevity of their relationship, she and Lee had yet to move past kissing.  Maybe that was the problem, although she wasn't sure.

Somehow though, there was a feeling of expectation in the air tonight, the feeling that tonight they would move past that, far past that.  She knew it was unfair to let things get that far, so with trepidation, she joined Lee in the kitchen while he prepared coffee.

Leaning against the counter, she smiled at him, trying to determine the best way to broach the subject.  They stood in silence for several minutes, and it wasn't until Lee started to serve the coffee that Leslie realized she had yet to speak.

Bringing the two mugs to the coffee table, they sat on the couch together.  Lee leaned over to squeeze her hand, but seemingly nervous, he quickly backed away.

"Lee," she started.

"I know.  Maybe this still isn't the best time," he continued for her.

"What?"

"I thought that tonight… Well," Lee stammered, "I thought that you might spend the night here.  But it isn't time, yet, is it?  It feels forced, doesn't it?"

"Do you remember my friend, Jordan, from college?  I told you I bumped into him a few weeks ago and we had lunch."  Leslie asked, staring resolutely at the couch.

Lee shook his head, trying to understand where this had come from.  He had thought they were about to have a conversation about their sex life, or lack thereof.  Not that he really minded skipping it, but still…

"Well, we've had lunch several times since then.  And dinner a few times as well." Leslie continued, haltingly.

"And…" Lee prompted her, starting to understand where this was going.

"And, I think I'm in love with him," Leslie said quickly, trying desperately to get past this.  Lee didn't say anything, just sat watching her and feeling embarrassed, Leslie started to ramble.  "I'm sorry, Lee.  I like you, I do.  But we're not right for each other, are we?  I mean we've been together for nearly three months now and we've never done more than kiss?  That's not normal for me and I know it isn't normal for you.  We're forcing this relationship, and that's not going to make either of us happy in the long run.  I like you, Lee.  I really do.  I think you are an amazing, special man.  But I'm not in love with you and I don't think I ever will be."  Leslie got more sure of herself the longer she talked, and by this time she had her hand warmly over his.

"You're right," Lee said quietly, admitting to himself that he wasn't as upset about this as he should be considering how long they'd been together.  "I want to be in love with you, but…"

Before he could finish the thought, Leslie cut him off, "But I'm not Amanda."

"Right," Lee responded to what he thought she had said, but then replaying the words back in his mind, jumped up, "What?"

"I'm not Amanda.  You're so in love with her, you can't be in love with me."

"I'm not in love with Amanda.  She's my friend.  My best friend.  I love her.  Of course, I do.  But I'm not in love with her."

Leslie didn't say anything.  There was no point in arguing with the man if he was in denial.

_August 12, 1986___

"Thanks for coming with me tonight," Lee smiled at the woman in his arms.

"Not a problem, Lee.  You know that," Amanda smiled right back at him.  The two danced in silence a moment or two more, before Amanda leaned back a little bit.  "Did you know that Leslie was going to be here tonight?" she asked.

Spinning Amanda around, he said, "No.  I'm guessing that's Jordan she's with right now."

"Do you want to go over and say hello."

"Um…maybe in a little while."

"I thought your break up was amicable," Amanda asked, confused.

"It was, very.  It's just… Well, do you want to hear something funny?" Lee asked.

Amanda leaned back so she could look him fully in the face and cocked an eyebrow in question.

"Well, when we broke up, mainly as she met Jordan," Lee inserted, even though he knew Amanda knew that, "Leslie said the reason I wasn't in love with her was because… well, because I'm in love with you.  It's ridiculous, of course, but now I feel silly being here with you."

Amanda moved closer to rest her head on Lee's shoulder, trying to hide her face from him.  Despite all that they had been through, and her clarity that their friendship was the right thing, … well, it hurt for him to say the thought of being in love with her was ridiculous.  She knew she was behaving like a school girl, but she couldn't help the pang she felt at the thought.

Taking a deep breath, she moved away from him slightly.  "Well, I think you should go say hello.  I can stay here if you'd like."

"No, come with me…" Lee started.  Then thinking it over for a second, he changed his mind.  "On the other hand, maybe that would be a good idea.  I'll just be gone for a second; it's almost time for us to meet our contact."

With his hand at the small of her back, Lee led Amanda off the dance floor and to the bar.  As she went to order herself another glass of white wine, Lee went to say hello to Leslie and Jordan.

"What a lovely broach," a man Amanda did not recognize said as he approached, literally seconds after Lee left.

"Thank you, it's my mother's" Amanda replied, distracted as she watched Lee approach Leslie.

"You know, they say they don't make them the way they used to.  Why just this morning one of my favorite juice glasses cracked.  You'll never guess where I bought it."

Amanda was watching how well Lee handled himself and so absentmindedly replied, "No, I'm sure I…" and then it hit her.  The recognition sequence.  She thought they were supposed to contact Lee.  Oh, well, what was the correct reply?  "Well, I can't imagine better glasses anywhere than those they make at that little shop on Fourth Street."

The man smiled at her, reaching to grab her white wine from the bartender, and as she took it from him she felt the small microdot fall into her hand as well.  She glanced down to make sure it was there and when she looked up, her contact was gone.

She moved toward a table to find a safe place to move the microdot, but as she passed a set of French doors, another man came up to her.  Leaning down he whispered, "Nice to see you, Mrs. King.  I think we have an exchange to make."

Feeling her heartbeat quicken slightly, Amanda fought to keep her voice calm.  "I don't believe we do."

That was when she felt it.  The unmistakable feel of cold steel on the small of her back.  "Oh, come now.  I'm sure you'd be willing to discuss exchanging your life for the little bitty microdot in your hand."

Amanda let herself be led outside.

******************************************************************************

Lee took a deep breath as he walked away from Leslie and Jordan.  That wasn't nearly as bad as he had thought.  Leslie hadn't seen him with Amanda so he did not even have to deal with that at all.

Moving towards the bar, he realized Amanda was not where he had left her.  Turning around, he couldn't spot her anywhere in the room.

Just where did she go off to, he wondered, as moved outside.

To Be Continued…


	15. The Ties That Bind

AN: It seems like I start so many of these with an apology for how long it is taking. And I am sorry it's taking so long. I've been traveling a lot for work and I guess this story is just not a priority for me in my personal life. I'm not sorry, though, that that is the case. I've gotten some reviews that seem very upset about this. The truth is, if it bothers you that much that this is taking a long time for me to write – hold off, and read it when it's finished. I promise to mark that in the summary so you'll know.

I'm not abandoning this fic and in fact we are very much drawing to a close, but between the rest of my life, and my desire not to short-change what's left of this, it will continue to take a while to finish. I'll be traveling much of the next month, which means I know it will be a long while before the next chapter is even started. I guess I can only hope that the finished product is worth the wait.

Chapter 15: The Ties That Bind

__

August 12, 1986 9:52pm

Amanda tried to determine where they were going. After being led out of the embassy party, she had been shoved into the back of a van. Her hands had been tied securely. There were no windows and she had long since lost track of the left and right turns. Her only way to determine her location was by the sounds outside. The loud engine and blasting radio was making outside sounds hard to hear, though.

At least her captors had good taste in music, she thought as Elton John came belting through the small window between where she sat and the cab of the van.

Looking around, she spotted the remains of a seatbelt. It had been pulled from the side and lay broken on the floor. The rough edge on one side was her best chance at breaking through the binds on her hands. Leaning over, she started moving her hands against the discarded seatbelt.

__

August 12, 1986 9:55pm

Lee felt the apprehension growing as he made yet another circle around the grounds of the Swiss embassy. Amanda was no where to be seen. He had just taken a seat on a bench outside when a man walked up to him.

Sitting down beside him, he motioned to Lee's watch. "Nice watch," he offered.

Distracted with thoughts of Amanda, Lee responded, "Thanks," and turned away.

The man was persistent, though, and kept talking. "You know, they say they don't make them like they used to."

"Uh, huh," Lee replied, not really listening.

"Yes, you know, just this morning one of my favorite juice glasses cracked. You'll never guess where I bought it."

This brought Lee's attention – the recognition sequence. Letting worry for Amanda take second place for just a second, he replied, "Well, I can't imagine better glasses anywhere than those they make at that little shop on Fourth Street."

The man smiled at him, and Lee waited patiently to be passed the microdot. Finally, his contact replied, "So, it is you. I wasn't sure. I hope the pretty brunette was your partner."

"What pretty brunette?" Lee asked, alarmed.

"The one I passed the microdot to earlier. She was wearing a green dress with a lovely broach."

Lee sighed with relief. "Yes, that is my partner. Where is she?"

"Oh, I haven't seen her since I passed her the microdot. I actually was going to leave, but then I realized she was gone and you were still here and worried I'd gotten the wrong person."

Lee's concern for Amanda rose. "Thanks for being diligent. I need to go find my partner."

__

August 12, 1986 10:47pm

"I don't know, Billy. She wasn't anywhere." Lee paced his superior's office. "I stepped away for just a moment and she was gone."

The frustration in Lee's voice was hard to miss. The desperation, hidden under the surface, was a bit more difficult, but not for a pro like Billy, not for someone who had known Lee so long.

"We'll find her," Billy said, his voice soft. Then deciding that Lee needed a friendly, but firm hand, he toughened his voice to that of the "section chief" again, "Now, Scarecrow, where was Amanda the last time you saw her?"

__

August 13, 1986 12:14am

Cobra pulled open the back door of the van and reached to grab the woman inside. He didn't really care what he grabbed, her life was not his main concern, so if he should grab an ankle and need to drag her into the warehouse, what did he care?

He reached his arm into the back of the van, but before he found anything to grab onto, a small, but remarkably strong foot, hit him right on the nose. He staggered backward a few feet, leaving just enough space for Amanda to jump out and run into the surrounding trees.

His eyes were smarting from the kick and as they cleared, he could see the woman run into the forest, but by the time he had blinked she was gone. It only took a moment for him to determine that he needed to follow her, lest he lose his life at the hands of Montclair (or more appropriately, Montclair's lackeys), and set off.

Amanda could hear the sound of footsteps behind her, and tried to ignore them. She ran faster than she knew she was capable of running and ignored the stitch in her side or the pain in her leg. As she came to a clearing, she saw a small log off to the side, and chanced lying down beside it. She was rewarded when seconds later, she heard the footsteps pass her on the trail.

__

August 13, 1986 12:17am

Lee slammed the phone down, trying hard not to let his frustration get the better of him. He had just called the last of his contacts and still no word on who had taken Amanda or even why. It had been unclear what information was being passed to him at the party, so he had no way of knowing who would want it.

It was clearly time to start talking to his family, see what word on the street was, but at this time of night, there was no one he could talk to. But there was no way Lee was going to be able to wait nine hours for people to start waking up. At a loss of what to do, Lee started pacing the Q-Bureau.

__

August 13, 1986 1:30am

Amanda moved quietly. Cobra had passed her quite some time ago, and she had stayed where she was for a good ten minutes after he passed. Now, she was trying to find her way to someplace populated. She had no idea where she was, though, making it hard to get anywhere.

She spotted a cave slightly up ahead, and deciding that it might make sense to rest for the night and hope to make more headway in daylight, she headed toward it.

Reaching the mouth of the cave, she glanced inside, but without a flashlight it was hard to see. Desperate for some sleep, she stepped inside, crouching down so she didn't hit her head.

Feeling for a wall, she moved to sit down. She had just felt the cool ground beneath her through her dress, when from out of nowhere, something grabbed her arm. She went to scream, but hands came around her mouth, and she was promptly dragged out of the cave.

"Running away was a stupid thing to do," Cobra said, his voice low and gruff. "A really stupid thing to do."

To Be Continued…


	16. Crying Is For Sissies

****

Chapter 16: Crying Is For Sissies

__

August 13, 1986 1:35am

Lee was surprised to see the lights on as he approached 4247 Maplewood Dr. He had been half hoping that everyone would be asleep and he could wait for this discussion until morning. He knocked on the front door with a heavy heart and was surprised when Dotty opened the door and quickly engulfed him in a hug.

"Lee! You're all right!" she exclaimed as she pulled him inside. Lee was further surprised when he felt himself engulfed by both Jamie and Philip.

He was about to ask what everyone was still doing up, when Dotty answered for him. "We couldn't sleep. We thought you'd be back by now," her head moved around the room as she spoke. Lee could see the minute it hit her, "Lee, where is Amanda? Why isn't she with you?"

"I think we should sit down," he replied, reaching for a chair himself, not sure he could stand up much longer.

"Is she okay?" Dotty asked while she took a seat. The boys sat on either side of her, their small faces looking worried.

"Can we start from the beginning?" Lee asked, "There's no clear way for me to answer that question otherwise."

Dotty began to nod her head, but then thought better of it. In a wave of panic, she stood up, "Lee Stetson, you tell me immediately where my daughter is! Is she okay, young man?"

In the face of her anger, Lee looked down at the floor. "I don't know."

The anger drained out of her and she sat down again. "Okay, start at the beginning."

"Okay," Lee breathed. "What I'm about to tell you, you can't tell anyone else. Anyone at all. Understand?" He looked over at the boys, hoping they would agree.

Jamie furrowed his brow before he answered, "Not even Mom?"

"Or Dad?" Philip chimed in.

"No, your mom and dad already know, so that's okay. But no one else."

The boys nodded, and glancing at Dotty, Lee took a deep breath, "I'm a … I'm an intelligence operative…a spy."

The reactions were immediate.

Jamie tilted his head to the side, looking at Lee curiously.

Philip smiled wide, "Cool! For real? My mom is friends with a spy? My friends are going to be so jealous!"

Dotty just looked concerned, "You're a spy? For how long? How do Amanda and Joe know? Oh my, is Amanda a spy, too?"

Lee took each in turn, leaning over to squeeze Jamie's hand. "You okay, champ?" Jamie nodded mutely.

Turning to Philip, Lee spoke kindly, but firmly. "Philip, your friends will not be jealous as they will not know. I'm serious. You can't tell anyone. It's far too dangerous."

Philip looked suitably ashamed at having so quickly forgotten his promise, and Lee turned to Dotty.

"I joined the Agency years ago. Amanda and I were still in college and I told her before I joined. Joe found out when he came from Estoccia. The Agency was involved in the clearing him of the assignation of the prime minister. And Amanda isn't really a spy, but she has been helping out from time to time."

Dotty, at a loss of what else to say, nodded. "And right now?"

"She came with me to a party at the Swiss embassy. I was meeting someone there. They were giving me a very important piece of information. They gave it to Amanda instead and someone must have seen. They took Amanda to get the microdot, but no one has contacted us yet, and we don't know where she was. I only moved away from her for a moment, I can't believe she got away." Lee surprised himself when he felt the tears falling silently down his cheeks.

Dotty moved over to sit beside him, taking him into her arms. "I'm sure she'll be fine. Right?"

Lee nodded his head, "She's great, Dotty. Really, she has amazing instincts. I'm sure she'll be fine."

__

August 13, 1986 7:40am

"Lee…Lee" Jamie's voice called softly as he shook Lee's shoulder. Lee opened his eyes slowly, trying to determine where he was.

"Lee, it's for you. A Mr. Melrose is on the phone," Jamie continued.

Lee sprang to his feet, suddenly remembering – after the talk last night, Dotty had suggested he get some sleep. She and the boys had moved upstairs and Dotty had told Lee to make himself at home in Amanda's room. He had resisted at first, deciding to sleep on the couch, but found he couldn't fall asleep. Looking to be closer to Amanda he had made his way up to her room after all, intending to walk around a little before heading back to the couch.

Once in her room though, he started to cry. The tears were so natural he didn't even notice them at first, he didn't notice anything except the deep longing he felt – the longing to see Amanda again, to talk to her, to hold her, to know she was safe. He sat on her bed heavily, and without thought, brought his head to her pillow. Breathing in her scent made the longing that much stronger, and he could no longer miss the tears streaming from his cheeks. He buried his face in her pillow, crying until he was spent, and then afraid to move, had taken deep breaths, until he had somehow lulled himself to sleep.

Picking up the phone now, he noticed the hardness on his cheeks, the dried tears. It was a strange sensation, and he brushed past it, willing himself to think like an agent, not like Amanda's friend.

"Any word, Billy?" he asked in greeting.

There was a pause on the other end, while Billy took in the voice, professional, but gruff with sleep and a deep depression. He wondered what would happen if they didn't find her. Amanda had been the only constant in Lee's life, even with the intervening years of silence. He wasn't sure how Lee would deal with it if Amanda didn't come home.

"No, no news, Lee. I was just checking up on you. When I couldn't find you at your place, I decided to try you at Amanda's. How did they take it?"

"Like champs," Lee replied. "Really, they were surprised, but okay about it. They seem to have faith that she'll make it through."

"She will," Billy said, with no uncertainty in his words. "You know how good she is, Lee. She was born to be an agent. And this is her chance to prove it."

Lee sighed, "Nice way to see the silver lining, Billy. I'll try to remember that."

He sighed again as he hung up the phone. Stretching his back, he decided to head home to take a shower. He was about to enter Amanda's bathroom to wash his face when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," he called out, and Dotty and the boys entered. Each was dressed, but had circles under their eyes and a haunted look in their eyes. Saddened even further, Lee looked down, "I'm sorry. Still no word."

Lee looked up again, and found Dotty looking at him with a small smile on her face. "You probably don't cry much now that you're all grown up, do you?" she asked, her voice low and even.

Lee brushed at his cheeks, embarrassed at the evidence of last night giving him away. Giving a fast glance in the direction of Philip and Jamie, he parroted back the words his uncle had told him on more than one occasion, "Boys don't cry. Crying is for girls and sissies."

Dotty moved forward, letting her hand run over his cheek. "That's rubbish," she said softly as she took Lee's hand and moved him to sit beside her on Amanda's bed.

Philip sat on his other side, looking up at him with big eyes, "Mom says that's nonsense. Crying is what you do when you're sad and boys get sad, too."

"She says it's something you do when you love someone," Jamie piped in. "I cried last night, too," he whispered, looking at the floor as his eyes filled with tears. "But that's okay, cause I love her," he continued, trying to sound strong.

Lee reached out and hugged Jamie to him, feeling his own tears come again, "I love her, too, Champ. So much."

Dotty, wiping her own tears from her eyes, added, "And that's why she's going to come home. Because we all love her so much and we need her. You know your mother," she said, resting hands on Philip and Jamie. "She's as dependable as they come. She's always there when you need her. So, she'll be home soon safe and sound, because we need her."

The four stayed in place for a minute or two, before Lee got up. "I should get back to the office," he said, his voice still a little shaky.

Three heads in front of him bobbed up and down, the look in their eyes still haunted. "I meant what I said earlier. She's really amazing. If anyone can get out of this, it's Amanda."

Dotty smiled slightly at him and Lee could see a small light shine in Philip's eyes, no doubt thinking it was a little cool that his mom was sort of a spy.

As he made his way out the front door a few minutes later, Dotty approached him again. "You know, you were crying when I met you," she said.

Lee looked at her quizzically for a moment and she continued, "Actually, you weren't. You looked just as you did this morning. No tears, but the remnants of them on your cheeks. It's what drew her to you."

Lee smiled as he remembered, the vague recollection of her small arms around him that day. It was true, if he hadn't been crying he probably would not even know Amanda right now.

Dotty pulled him into a tight hug, "I know you love her, Lee, and I know she loves you. There's few bonds as strong as friendship, especially a friendship as deep as the one the two of you share." She placed a cool hand on his cheek.

"She will come home, Dotty," Lee whispered, but his words were strong. It was clear to both of them that he believed them.

__

August 13, 1986 8:16am

Amanda shook her head, willing herself awake. Her head felt fuzzy and heavy. As her vision cleared, she could see she was in an unfinished basement of some kind. She remembered little of the night before. Cobra had half carried and half dragged her back towards the van, then past it and into a cabin. He placed her roughly on a chair and kept the gun trained on her as he moved around, finally finding what he wanted. He had moved back toward her and had grabbed her wrist, extending her arm. Without even glancing at her eyes, he had pushed the syringe into her forearm. Amanda had yelped in pain, but whatever he had given her had worked fast, as she didn't remember anything after that.

Looking around, she took in her surroundings. There wasn't much there. She was seated on the floor, her hands tied with rope to what appeared to be a pipe leading towards a hot water heater on the other side of the basement.

Looking down, she realized her shoes were gone and then vaguely remembered them falling off her feet as she had been carried last night. From the rough way he had dragged her, her dress was torn, but appeared to still be in one piece, although she could see a that it had ripped around her midriff and she was scratched up quite a bit on her stomach.

She didn't have much more time to reflect on her condition, however, as Cobra entered himself, throwing a bowl towards her. "Eat," he instructed.

Amanda watched him but didn't respond. "Eat!" he repeated and she glanced at her tied hands and then back at him.

"You stupid…!" his words cut off as he pushed her face into the bowl. "I said eat."

Amanda felt tears prick her eyes at the humiliation of it, but also realized she was hungry and so took a few bites of the slop in the bowl before picking her head up and looking away.

Cobra grinned a little at the sight of her, with watery oatmeal now covering her chin and nose. Leaning over, he took hold of her dress and tore a few inches off the bottom. Instinctively Amanda tried to move away as Cobra leered at her. He threw the material at her and laughed, "Just thought you might want a napkin."

Then he picked up the bowl and left her alone again. Looking at the piece of her dress, just out of her reach, Amanda cried, feeling the oatmeal fall off her face slowly.

To be continued…


	17. Thank Goodness for Rusty Pipes and Broke...

****

Chapter 17: Thank Goodness for Rusty Pipes and Broken Bones

__

August 13, 1986 9:00am

"Hey, Lee, look at what just came over the wire!" Francine shouted across the bullpen as Lee entered.

Lee looked up, circles readily apparent under his eyes. Francine, oblivious to her friend's current state, bounded over. "Look at this!" she proclaimed, excitement apparent in her voice.

Lee listlessly took the paper from her and glanced at it quickly. He looked up at her, the first signs of hope showing in his eyes. "Do you think this is it?" he asked quietly.

Francine shrugged her shoulders, "Well, since we haven't been able to locate your contact, we can't be sure. But it seems like it could be it, right? At least it's a lead."

Lee smiled slightly, "And at least it's something for me to do." With that he grabbed the paper and left the bullpen.

__

August 13, 1986 9:23am

Amanda looked up at Cobra trying not to show the fear she was feeling, but she could feel the pressure of the tears behind her eyes.

"Tell me what you know!" he yelled as his fist came down and made solid contact with her stomache. Amanda groaned and tried to roll away, but was tied too tightly to the pipe.

With one final kick, Cobra stormed out, glancing behind him to add in a cold tone, "Sooner or later you will talk. I have no problem waiting," before slamming the door behind him.

__

August 13, 1986 9:31am

Putting the best smile he could manage on his face, Lee approached Eddie. Looking up from his juice, Eddie caught Lee's eyes and smiled. "Join me for breakfast?" he asked.

Lee sat down opposite him and handed him the paper Francine had given him. "Know anything about this?" he asked.

"Why you want to know?" Eddie asked, concern on his face.

"Since when do you care?" Lee countered, placing his credit card on the bill sitting in front of Eddie.

"I heard some things… Some things I don't like. That's all."

"Like what?" Lee asked, feeling his pulse speed up a little.

"Listen, Lee, this ain't nice people who are dealing with this," Eddie said.

Lee laughed. "Are they less nice than normal?"

"They got a woman this time. And from what I heard she's not an agent."

Lee sighed, running his hand through his hair. "She's a friend of mine," he said softly.

Eddie laughed, "Like me? Maybe it ain't as bad as I thought."

Lee looked up and this time the pain was clear in his eyes, "No, a friend from when I was a kid. She has two little boys."

Eddie whistled, "Wow! Lucky them, huh?"

"What do they want?" Lee asked.

"Well, more information. The stuff they got was good, but they want more."

"So this is true?" Lee asked, "They know the locations of our testing grounds in the US for biological warfare?"

"Good stuff, as I said. But now they want names."

"Amanda doesn't have any names," Lee sighed, "She only helps out part time. And even I don't have any names; this wasn't a case of ours."

"Well, buddy, the problem here is that Cobra thinks she does. And Cobra is not a nice guy."

"Where is she?" Lee asked, his eyes widening.

"That I don't know.

__

August 20, 1986 4:32pm

Amanda groaned as she woke up. She wasn't sure what day it was or how long she'd been in Cobra's care, if you could call it care. What she did know was that he wanted something from her that she did not have. She wasn't even sure what it was. Every morning he'd come in, deliver her some oatmeal and laugh as she tried to eat it with her arms tied, stick a syringe in her arm, and leave. When she awoke in the late afternoon, her memories of the morning were fuzzy, but there were vague recollections of questions being asked repeatedly. Earlier she had thought she was probably being beaten during these questioning sessions as she had more bruises than she recalled from the evening, when Cobra would come back in, ask her for names, never clear on what names he was looking for. Now, though, the beatings had all run into one another, and it was hard to tell when she awoke which bruises were fresh.

She took another look around the basement. There was no question that she needed to escape. With the meager amount of food she was given, being drugged daily, and beaten more than that, it was unclear how much longer she would survive. She had a constant thirst that made her fear she was being dehydrated.

She had planned out an escape, sort of. Each day, when she came to, she realized her best bet was to escape at night. She had one or two hours after she awoke before Cobra would come in and begin the evening questioning. For these she was never drugged, which meant when he left she was sore, but awake. Two days ago she had noticed a small air duct near the ceiling on the other side of the room. She was fairly certain she could fit through it, although it would be tight. Getting up there would be tricky, though, as the only access she had was to shimmy up the pipe for the hot water heater. With her hands tied, that would be impossible and given her injuries, likely difficult even with use of her hands.

However yesterday, she had had a breakthrough. If she maneuvered about a 100 feet to the left, there was an area where the pipe was beginning to rust. This led to some rough pipe and given the time, she could wear away the ropes. It would take awhile though, and while Cobra didn't check her ropes, he batted her around enough to notice if they were loose. She had determined that if she got started on them now and wore them away a small amount, Cobra wouldn't notice. This would also give her plenty of time to maneuver back to her original place on the floor, so he wouldn't notice that she had moved. She thought, if she was lucky, she'd have time to get the rest of the way through the ropes, up the pipe, and into the air duct with a few hours to spare before Cobra came back. She could only hope that those few hours would be enough to get through the air duct, into the forest, and far enough away that Cobra couldn't find her.

__

August 20, 1986 9:04pm

Pushing her way through the air duct, Amanda paused. She was exhausted and sore, but she had to push on. She was fairly certain she had some broken ribs from this evening's "questioning" session and worse yet, she had broken her leg her first time up the pipe. She had lost her grip and fallen to the ground when she was nearly at the ceiling. This did confirm what she had thought before – Cobra stayed very far away when he wasn't with her, as otherwise he would have heard when she fell with a thump, particularly as she'd been unable to stop the small scream that passed her lips at the pain.

Struggling on, she decided to be thankful that her only injuries to date were broken bones and hoped that continued to be her worst problems.

To be continued…


	18. Moving Towards the Sunlight

****

AN: Sorry, yet again, for the length of time it took me to post. You'll just have to believe me that this time, I actually wrote this right after I finished the last chapter. But I was on a plane at the time, and I've spent limited time on-line since then so I didn't have a chance to post it. Things continue to be very busy here, so I don't know that I can promise a fast update, but I do believe we are down to only two more chapters, so we're nearing the finish line. Thanks for continuing to stick it out with me.

****

Chapter 18: Moving Towards the Sunlight

__

August 20, 1986 9:11am

From fairly far away, Amanda heard a door slam and immediately stopped. She was inches from the end of the air duct and could see sunlight spilling in. But if Cobra was back, she needed to be quiet. She could only hope he would not follow her through and if she was patient she'd have time to finish her escape.

That was her plan until she heard the angry voice clearly coming from the room below, "Where is she? I want to see her!" he demanded.

Cobra laughed, and replied, "I do not think you are in any position to make demands on me, Mr. Stetson." Glancing around, he added in a more menacing tone, "I'm not sure where she is, but when I find her, she'll be sorry she left."

Amanda heard a soft thud, a few seconds of silence, and then the door close again. She continued crouching where she was, not sure what to do. Was Lee locked in the basement? Where had Cobra gone? If she went back, would they both be caught? Was she better off going to find help? She took one look at her broken leg and realized it would be slow going to say the least. But would Lee even be able to fit through the air duct? The fit hadn't been as tight as she had feared, but that didn't mean Lee would fit through.

It was all of thirty seconds of indecision, before Amanda knew she just wasn't that capable of thinking like an agent. Regardless of the consequences, she couldn't leave Lee locked in the basement, she'd need to head back.

__

August 20, 1986 11:32am

Lee continued to look around not sure what to do. He had heard the sounds of Cobra leaving hours ago, certainly he was going to look for Amanda. He had to stifle the small smile that formed as he realized that she had escaped. She was really something.

Looking around the basement, he noticed the small air duct. But how would she have gotten up there? Looking at his own bounds he wondered if she'd even been able to get out of her ropes. But then, she'd been held here for several days, she would have found a way, he thought, as he managed to untie his own. He suspected though, that Amanda's had been better tied. Cobra had been distracted when securing Lee to the pipe, probably wondering where Amanda had gone off to.

He froze when he heard the scraping sound and moved his hands behind him and out of view. If that was Cobra, he wanted a few moments before the man realized he was free from his binds.

"Lee?" the voice whispered, and after a minute of confusion, he looked up towards the air duct.

"Amanda?" he whispered back.

"Oh, Lee. What are you doing here?" she asked concern clear in her voice, while Lee took stock of her bruised face and winced.

"Trying to save you," he said with a sardonic grin. "What are you doing up there?"

She chuckled lightly, "I was trying to get out until I heard your voice and came back to save you!" She paused for a moment before asking, "Do you think you can get up here and through this? I'm not sure I'll make it down alright and I don't know if there's another way out."

"How did you get up there in the first place?" Lee asked as Amanda pointed to the pipe below her.

"I pulled myself up from there. If you can move a little to the left of where you are, there's a rough patch of pipe to shred the ropes on."

For a split second, Lee paused, remembering Billy's words. 'You know how good she is, Lee. She was born to be an agent. And this is her chance to prove it.' She certainly was doing that.

With a sly grin, he pulled his hands up to show her he was already free and moved over to the pipe. Grasping his arms around it tightly he hoisted himself up. As he approached the opening to the air duct, Amanda backed away slightly. "If you can get through the opening, it's a bit wider once inside."

It was a tight fit, but with a little bit of maneuvering, and some tugging from Amanda, he made it through and found that she was right, once inside he had a bit more room to move.

Amanda scrambled around and began heading towards the exit again. They moved in silence for five minutes or so before Lee's voice came to her, sounding choked, "How are you?"

Amanda looked back and grinned, "I'm fine, Lee. Really."

A flash of annoyance crossed his face, before he replied. "Don't lie to me, Amanda King. I can see that your leg is broken, your face and legs and bruised, and I haven't even gotten a good look at you yet. You are clearly not fine!"

Amanda paused in her crawling. "Yes, I am," she said, her voice tight. "If I think about anything else right now, we won't get out of here." When she glanced back at him again, he could see the small tear make its way down her face and decided to drop it. She may be right – focusing on her injuries was not the way to go right now.

As they neared the exit, Lee placed a hand on the leg dragging behind her. She flinched, but stopped. "We should wait here." Lee said, "Cobra was looking for you. Wait until nightfall before we leave."

Amanda nodded and Lee moved to crouch against the wall of the air duct. He opened his arms and Amanda moved toward him, leaning her back against his chest. He looked over her shoulder to do the inventory he'd wanted to do since seeing the broken leg.

Taking in the bruises covering her torso, he flinched. "Are you okay?" he asked again, his voice compassionate.

"Yeah," she said softly, letting herself melt into him until tears began falling down her face. Lee went to take her hand and saw the needle marks on her arms.

"How often?" he choked out, past the lump in his throught, "How often did he drug you? Hit you?"

Amanda turned around and buried her head in his chest. "In the mornings," she mumbled. "Every morning" she whispered as an after thought.

Lee tilted her chin up, looking her in the eyes and willing her to tell him the whole truth, and she added, "He didn't drug me in the afternoons, only in the mornings. In the afternoon, he would ask me for names and places, but it was never clear for what. The beatings never seemed so bad then as they did when I woke up from the morning session." Her words were clear, but tears continued down her cheeks. In a whisper, she choked out, "I was so scared, Lee."

He tightened his grip on her and making soothing noises, whispered back, "So was I, Amanda. So was I."

__

August 20, 1986 1:26pm

"Lee? Amanda?" came the voice from below. Lee and Amanda looked at each other. All had been quiet for the last hour or so. They had stopped talking and Amanda had drifted off to sleep, leaning against Lee.

Lee smiled and shouted back, "We're in the air duct, Francine. Nearly at the end."

Silence was his only answer and he frowned until he heard Billy call out, "Just give us a minute." Seconds later, Francine's face appeared at the end of the air duct.

"Come on, I'll help you out." She reached out her hand and Amanda grasped it moving towards the opening.

Lee's soft voice came from behind her, "Be careful, Francine. Amanda's left leg is broken."

Between Francine and Billy they were able to lift Amanda to the ground with minimum impact to her broken leg and a few moments later, after again maneuvering through a space he was slightly too big for, Lee was standing beside her.

He took in his surroundings and the agency team around him. "Guess I'm glad I called for back-up, this time?" he said with a grin.

"For a change!" Billy replied, then continued, "Dennings picked up Cobra in the forest looking for Amanda. At seeing the group of us, he immediately panicked and named all manner of names. It's amazing how quickly he broke." Glancing at Amanda and taking in her numerous bruises, "Or how well you did, Amanda. Many trained agents would have cracked much sooner than this, Amanda, and not been able to wait for help to arrive."

Lee laughed outright, getting curious glances from Francine and Billy. "Wait for what, Billy? She didn't wait. She was nearly out of the air duct when I got here. She only came back to save me!" Lee had a hard time keeping the immense pride out of his voice.

Francine whistled, "How is it even when they're not trained, you always get the best partners?" her words were directed at Lee, but she was looking at Amanda. Early on, she had resented Amanda's easy entrance to the agency, but after one batch of triple chocolate cookies, she found she had a soft spot for the suburbanite. She still gave Amanda a hard time, but it was difficult not to respect her now.

Amanda was leaning against a tree trunk, her broken leg in front of her and didn't seem at all affected by the praises she was getting. "Mother?" she directed the question at Lee. "Jamie? Philip?"

With an embarrassed glance at the ground Lee said, "We told them everything – how you were taken, where we work, and how great you were so we knew you'd get out," he added with a gentle smile. "They took it like champs. Really."

At that moment, two agents came over to Amanda with a makeshift gurney. "We need to take Mrs. King back to the agency." Agent Morrison said, looking at Lee and Billy as he reached down and lifted her into his arms.

Lee immediately moved over towards her, "I'll go with you."

Billy smiled at the hot headed agent, amazed at the difference it made to have Amanda there before signaling to Francine that they should head back, too.

To Be Continued…


	19. The Busyness of Hatchin’ Thoughts

Chapter 19: The Busyness of Hatchin' Thoughts 

_August 23, 1986 8:00am_

"Careful, Amanda," Dotty said as she lowered her daughter to her bed. Amanda sighed with impatience, but moved slowly until she was lying firmly in bed with her leg cast straight in front of her.

Looking around she turned a quizzical face to Dotty, "Is Lee here?"

"Lee?" Dotty asked, "No, dear. Of course not."

"It's just…" Amanda paused while she tried to put the thoughts into words, "I smell his aftershave."

A look of shock came across Dotty's face, "Oh my gosh, Amanda, I'm so sorry, I meant to change the sheets!"

"What?"

"Lee, he came over a few nights ago to tell us where you were. He fell asleep on your bed. I meant to change the sheets, but…"

"It's okay, Mother. I'm fine here. I know you weren't concentrating on the sheets the last few days."

"No, and in a couple of days when you are feeling better, we'll talk about what I was concentrating on."

Amanda looked down at the bed, her cheeks slightly red. "I'm sorry, Mother, but I really couldn't tell you."

"I know you felt that way, but now that I know, and _the boys know_," Dotty said meaningful, "things are going to have to change around here."

"I know, Mother."

Placing a kiss on top of Amanda's head, Dotty whispered, "But rest for now. That talk can keep a couple of days. As long as you are wearing that, anyway," Dotty looked pointedly at Amanda's cast as she moved out of the door.

Amanda sunk deeper into her bed. She couldn't remember the last time something so simple had felt to wonderful. Inhaling deeply as she stretched her upper body she could again smell Lee's aftershave.

She snuggled even further under the blanket and let the comforting smell lull her to sleep.

_August 23, 1986 12:00pm_

Amanda awoke to the feeling of someone softly caressing her head. Looking up sleepily from behind her hair, she could see Lee watching her with a small smile on his face. When he caught her eye, his smile widened.

"Morning, sleepyhead," he said as he let his hands fall to his sides.

"Morning. Don't stop, that was nice."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, a little headache, but nothing else. Of course, the doctor gave me several Valium, so I can't feel much."

Lee's smile faltered for a moment and Amanda regretted her comment. "I'm fine, Lee. Really."

Lee's hand moved back to her head, smiling at her gently. "You're a terrible liar, you know?"

Amanda closed her eyes sleepily, and moved closer to Lee. Her head resting against his leg, she whispered, "I'm tired. Stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Of course," Lee whispered back and when her breathing had evened out once again, he leaned down, placing a small kiss on her cheek. "You are a terrible liar, but one hell of an agent."

_August 24, 1986 7:00pm_

"Boys! Please, I still have a headache," Amanda called to Philip and Jamie from her perch on the couch.

"Sorry, mom," the boys mumbled back, ashamed of their actions. Coming closer, Jamie asked, "Will Lee be here soon for dinner, mom?"

"Yes," said a voice behind them.

"Lee!" Philip exclaimed.

"Hey, kiddo!" Lee said as he patted Philip's head. He handed Amanda a packet of seeds.

She took it from him, looking at it quizzically, before asking "Marigold seeds?"

Lee smiled, "I thought you'd prefer to plant them and have them year after year than just the one time. And marigolds as they are bright and cheery."

Amanda smiled, "Thanks. It was a lovely thought."

Dotty came out, bearing a TV tray. "All right, fellas, dinner's ready in the kitchen. I thought we'd take our plates and eat out here today so we could be with your mother."

"Yeah! Dinner in front of the TV," Jamie exclaimed as he went to the kitchen, Philip behind him.

Dotty moved closer to Amanda and handed her the tray. "Thanks, Mother," she said as Dotty bestowed a warm kiss on her cheek.

The boys came back with their plates heaped full of food, and Dotty and Lee followed suit.

Dinner was a lively affair (no TV, to Jamie's dismay), with lots of conversation. The boys and Dotty had lots of questions about IFF and Amanda and Lee answered what they could.

A couple of hours later, after Dotty and Lee had finished the dishes and the boys had gone to bed, Dotty got up herself. "Do you think you could help Amanda upstairs, Lee?" she asked, yawning.

"No problem, Dotty," Lee replied as Dotty made her way upstairs.

Amanda and Lee sat downstairs for a few more minutes in silence, before Amanda yawned.

Without a word, Lee got up and scooped her into his arms. Settling her under the covers, Lee sat besides her. "You okay?"

Amanda nodded her head, before looking at him quizzically. "Mother said you spent the night here while I was …" she trailed off, not sure what the right word was.

"I didn't mean to," Lee admitted, embarrassed. "I came up here looking to be closer to you, and the next thing I knew it was morning."

Without thought, Amanda whispered, "My bed smells like you a little now.… It's nice."

Lee started at that and then Amanda seemed to realize the implication of what she said and turned bright red.

Standing up, Lee began pacing around the room. "Amanda,…"

"I, um, I shouldn't have said that," Amanda interrupted. "I just meant it was comforting to know you had been here in some way, I just … well, I don't know what I mean."

Lee smiled at her slightly, before coming to sit besides her once again, "I know what you mean. I kind of like having you around, too."

Amanda slapped him lightly on the arm. "Gee, thanks."

"You should get some sleep, though," Lee whispered as he tucked the blanket around her.

Leaning down, he placed a soft kiss on her forehead. When she smiled up at him, he leaned down again to place another soft kiss on the tip of her nose. "Sweet dreams, Amanda,"

"Thanks," she whispered, then as he was almost through the door, "Lee?"

"Hmm?" he mumbled as he turned around.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make things awkward. We're okay, right?"

Coming back over, Lee leaned close to her once again, running a hand softly through her hair. "We're perfectly fine. More than fine."

And then for good measure, he leaned down once more to place a chaste kiss on her lips.

He stood up and walked toward the door, and then for some reason he would be unable to explain later, he went back over to her and placed another chaste kiss on her lips. And then a third.

The fourth kiss was not so chaste.

To Be Continued…

PS For those of you confused at the title, it's a misquote from "If I Only Had a Brain" – "While my thoughts were busy hatchin'"


	20. All the Trimmings

AN: I'm sure everyone thought I'd given up on this, but I really didn't. I actually had more than half of this chapter finished when I uploaded last (nearly a year ago). But then through an error (mine, not my computer's, unfortunately), I deleted it. I have tried re-writing it countless times, but each time I've been unhappy with the result. I've finally found the way that I think works best. For those of you who were actually still waiting for this, I really appreciate the patience.

I'm sorry this isn't particularly long, but it just sort of wrote itself and this is the length it was.

Chapter 20: All the Trimmings

November 23, 2000 3:00pm

"I want to go first this time," Jamie declared. Usually shy and eager to go last, the heads around the table looked at him in surprise, but no one said anything, and so, raising his glass, Jamie continued, "My apologies for the obvious plagiarism, but this year I am thankful for the presence of Laurie in my life." He tilted his head toward his new wife and she blushed.

"That's sweet, Jamie," she said, "but why is it plagiarism?"

Jamie smiled at the family around him, "Well, Philip here has been saying it for the last couple of years about Marissa,"

"And it's as true this year as it ever was," Philip interjected, "although we have even more to be thankful for this year," he continued, a warm hand on his wife's slightly bulging stomach.

"**And**," Jamie glanced at Philip silently admonishing him for the interruption, "Philip stole it from Lee, whose been saying it for more years than I can remember."

"Hey," Lee piped up, "I've always had whole-hearted agreement on that."

November 27, 1986 2:35pm

Looking around the table shyly, Lee raised his glass, "This year I'm thankful, as always, for having all of you in my life, and" he reached over to place his free hand on top of Amanda's, "I'm especially thankful for how you have all welcomed me into my new role as part of the family."

Philip and Jamie smirked down at their dishes, Lee had gotten so mushy ever since he married mom! But Dotty smiled warmly at him, "We are all thankful to have you in our home, son."

"Hmm Hmm," Amanda cleared her throat. "And I am thankful that Mother is a lousy housekeeper and doesn't change the sheets after overnight guests." She shot her mother a smile before turning to Lee.

Lee smiled back, murming, "Yes, I'm pretty happy about the dirty sheets, too."

Philip and Jamie just looked at each other trying to determine what was going on, but Dotty smiled at the two newlyweds.

Looking up, Amanda said, "I'm also thankful to have a mother who can organize a wedding in under a month, a son with the skills to be the best wedding photographer we could hope to hire, another son who was able to fix Lee's Vette so we could get to our honeymoon, and a husband who blends in with us effortlessly while adding so much to our mix."

Philip and Jamie again looked down at their plates - mom had gotten mushier, too!

November 23, 1986 3:10pm

"So, how did you two meet?" Laurie asked Lee and Amanda, as everyone finished giving thanks.

Amanda and Lee laughed, smiling at each other.

"They were only children, they barely remember," Dotty interrupted.

"Darling, I think they asked Amanda and Lee, not you," Curt teased his wife.

"So she did," Dotty smiled sheepishly, and Amanda laughed at how easily her mother took to Curt's gentle criticisms and how well he called her mother on her faults.

"As Mother said," Amanda picked up the story, "Lee and I met when we were very young - Lee was five and I was not quite four."

"Childhood sweethearts?" Laurie asked, confused. Surely that would have come up during one of her previous trips to Jamie's family. Besides, then where would Joe fit in?

"No," Lee continued, "childhood penpals. We wrote, although not that often, up until we were teenagers."

"And then Daddy died," Amanda continued the story, her voice soft, "And Lee and I started talking, over the phone, in addition to the letters. After college, we even saw each other fairly often. But we were friends, just friends." Lee smirked, still remembering the time he had almost kissed Amanda while she was married to Joe, but said nothing. He still didn't see why she needed to know that. "And then we weren't for a long time." Amanda looked at Lee meaningfully, and he looked down at his plate.

"But as you'll soon learn about your mother-in-law," Lee continued, looking up with a twinkle in his eye, "she's pretty darn stubborn, so a few years later we were friends again. And then,…, we weren't" he finished lamely.

"Mom got kidnapped," Jamie explained, his eyes on Laurie, not sure how well she understood how dangerous his mother's past was yet. "When she came back, everything was different."

"But in a good way," Philip amended. "Now we knew why she'd been going away so often and why she was so secretive all the time."

"And Lee was around more," Jamie added.

"Of course, they were always kissing then, too" Philip added a smile on his face.

"Yes," Amanda added, looking pointedly at Philip, "I do recall when you thought kissing was gross, young man!"

Marissa laughed, "Glad you grew out of that," she chided Philip, nudging him slightly in the ribs.

"Besides," Jamie went on, "that hasn't changed. Mom and Lee are still always kissing."

"How would you possibly notice?" Lee challenged Jamie. "Or was that someone else Laurie was kissing when I came down for coffee this morning?"

Laurie blushed, but plowed on, "So what happened then, when you came back from being kidnapped?"

"I realized what a wonderful woman Amanda is," Lee smiled as Amanda choked on her wine.

"Not quite like that, actually," she amended. "To this day, Lee says he doesn't know what compelled him to kiss me!"

"True," Lee countered, "but I also know I don't regret it in the least."

"They were married a month and a half later," Dotty smiled, "just in time for Thanksgiving."

"A year after that," Lee picked up the story, "we decided to come out of the field. We wanted to be able to see more of Philip and Jamie before they went off to college."

"And then," Amanda said, as she stood up to portion out the stuffing, "we lived happily ever after."

The End


End file.
